When you finally meet someone you click with, it’s tempting to get completely wrapped up in the relationship. You may find yourself wanting to spend every waking moment with him, and eventually, he becomes your entire universe. We’re sure you understand why having a separate life and your own identity is the key to keeping your love life afloat, but how do you actually avoid being the type of girl who gives up everything for their relationship?
Keep practicing your own hobbies and passions and discovering new ones. When you lose yourself in your relationship, you eventually realize that his hobbies become your hobbies and you can hardly even remember all of the things you enjoyed doing when you were single. This is why it’s important to keep participating in the things that mean the most to you. Don’t cancel your gym membership or skip out on your weekly craft class. Keeping up with the activities that make you who you are will do some good for your relationship and your personal well-being. After you return from pursuing your own interests, you can relax in his arms and tell him all about your exciting day!
For the love of God, don’t ditch your friends. Your friends were there for you before he came along and if things don’t pan out and you find yourself single again, you’ll want them to still be standing by your side. Entering a relationship doesn’t mean you have to ditch all of your pals and spend 24/7 with your boyfriend. It just means you’ll have to work extra hard to nurture those relationships outside of your love life in order to keep them thriving. Friends will be a part of your life until the end, so never turn your back on those who care about you the most.
Don’t let him become the only man in your life. We’re not saying you should line up dates and cheat on your boyfriend, but there’s nothing wrong with keeping in touch and occasionally hanging out with guy friends. Keeping platonic male friends around won’t only boost your ego, it’ll remind you how awesome you are too.
Hold off on moving in together. For many relationships, cohabitation turns into the kiss of death. Couples become too comfortable with each other and then the passion fizzles out. Soon enough, they go from lovers to roommates. If you want to keep your own identity, try to hold off on moving in with your boyfriend for as long as possible. Maintaining your own personal space is the perfect way to keep your own sense of identity.
Listen to the advice of people outside the relationship even if you don’t follow it. If you’ve become overly immersed in your relationship, chances are, someone in your life has already taken notice. If friends or family members are telling you that you’re turning into a completely different person after meeting your boyfriend, don’t take it as an insult. Instead, listen to their words and reflect on what they’re saying. Chances are, they’re right and their words can be just what you need to pull yourself back from the point of no return.
Respect his need for space (and your own). Spending too much time together can backfire and cause your relationship to go from hot and heavy to mundane. If your boyfriend asks for some private time, don’t put up a fight. You should take it as a compliment that maybe he’s recognized that you’re both losing yourselves and could do with some time apart.
Don’t put your schedule on hold for him. If you’re friends invite you out, don’t cancel on them just so you can spend the night watching Netflix movies with your boyfriend. If you continue to turn them down, they’ll stop inviting you out at some point, and we know you don’t want that to happen. Keeping your plans in place will show your guy that you have a life outside of him, and trust us, he’ll really dig it.
Take a trip without him. Nothing beats packing a bag and jetting off to a new location. You can meet new people, try different foods, and take some time to relax and destress. If you can feel your former self slipping away from you, a trip will help you recharge and reclaim your identity.
Turn him down sometimes. If you’re used to spending all weekend with him, turn down his offer to hang out from time to time. When you’re away from him, you can use that free weekend to take part in self-care activities. Get a massage, read an inspirational book, or give yourself a mani-pedi. When the two of you reunite, you’ll feel (and look) more like your old self.
When all else fails, reflect on your single days. If none of these tips work, you can also reflect back on what life was like without him. Channel your inner single girl and start living life accordingly. By doing this, you’ll likely reignite the spark the two of you once had because it was the same “single girl attitude” that probably attracted him to you in the first place. Plus, you’ll be able to pull back from the relationship mentally and physically in order to rediscover the real you.
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