It’s not just your body language that can make you come across as confident or weak, but also what you say. You might think you seem confident at work or in your social circle because you’re standing tall and communicating clearly, but what about the phrases you use? People around you could be getting a totally different idea of who you are. Yikes! If you seem insecure or weak, people will respect you less – even if you’re confident deep down. To prevent that from happening, here are 11 phrases you should stop saying right now so that you don’t sound weak.
1. “Um.”
“Um” is one of those annoying filler words that people use as a crutch, but avoid saying it because it gives people the impression that you’re not sure of what you’re saying or you don’t know something and are trying to come up with an answer on the fly. It’s clear that you’re not confident about what you have to say or the subject you’re supposed to be talking about.
2. “In All Honesty.”
Whenever someone starts a sentence with, “Honestly,” “To be honest,” or “In all honesty,” it’s an immediate red flag that the person’s not being honest! If you ask your BF if he’s got a crush on his female friend and he starts by telling you how honest he is, you’re gonna hit the eject button. So, don’t tell people you’re honest and just tell them what you wanna say.
3. Want A Partner? Attract Love With The Power Of Your Mind.
Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks. Just click here.
4. “Kind Of.”
What does “kind of” even mean?! Seriously, it doesn’t tell the person you’re talking to anything of substance. It can also be confusing. If you say you “kind of” like seafood or you “kind of” want to be in a committed relationship, your words sound unsure and doubtful.
5. “I Guess.”
Similar to “kind of,” saying “I guess” tells people you don’t know what you really think or feel about something. “I guess I would like to take that job” isn’t a sentence that makes a prospective employer feel confident about hiring you. Guessing stuff is basically the same as saying you have no freaking clue. Instead of focusing on what you don’t know, it’s better to say what you do know and dare to be assertive!
6. “I’m Not An Expert, But…”
Although you don’t want to come across as arrogant, you know more than you do. Telling someone at work that you’re not an expert before launching into your ideas will make your co-workers and boss see you as weak instead of confident and capable. Avoid it!
7. “In My Humble Opinion…”
You might be used to writing IMHO in WhatsApp and Meta messages to your friends, but avoid saying “In my humble opinion” in real life. While you might think it sounds kind that you’re not pushing your opinions on someone else, it sounds like you don’t back what you’re saying. Just launch into your opinion instead of setting it up as not being a strong one.
8. “Maybe.”
“Maybe” is a word that doesn’t tell people anything. Instead of saying “maybe” when your partner invites you on a road trip or your friend asks you if you’d like to organize a community event, rather be assertive by telling them that you’ll take some time to think about your answer. This is more truthful and doesn’t make it seem like you don’t know if you’re coming or going.
9. “I’ll Try.”
This phrase might be a surprising one, but it can make you sound weak. Instead of telling someone you’ll try to quit smoking or you’ll try to be a better GF, just go ahead and make the decision to do what you’re promising to do. There’s no “try” – you either do it or you don’t. That’s it! Some people might also think that “I’ll try” means you don’t believe in your ability, and they might be right.
10. “No Problem.”
Saying “no problem” when someone asks you for a favor or thanks you for being supportive can cause them to become defensive. Why? It makes them think you’re being negative instead of just saying, “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome.” So, they might think you’re actually not keen to do the favor, but you’re too weak to say so. Ouch.
11. “Do You Really Think So?”
If someone pays you a compliment, like that you have beautiful hair or you’re a generous person, and you say, “Oh, do you really think so?” that’s a no-no. You sound like you’re insecure or you’re desperate to get more praise from the person. Ugh. Just be confident and say “thank you.” That’s all you have to do when you receive a compliment, and you don’t have to agree with the compliment to accept it.
12. “I’m Sorry.”
Although it’s good to own up to your mistakes and say sorry when it’s due, you shouldn’t say “I’m sorry” all the time. Like, if you say sorry for things that you haven’t done or you’re saying it so much that it’s losing value. If you’re always apologizing, you also give people the impression that you’re insecure instead of confident. They’ll give you less of the respect that you deserve.
