Bullying isn’t always loud and obvious. Sometimes, it’s sneaky and subtle, leaving you confused and unsure. If something feels off at work or in your social circle, pay attention to these signs that might point to low-key bullying. If it’s happening to you, don’t let it — stand up for yourself and do something about it.
1. You get the silent treatment.
They suddenly withdraw, refusing to talk to you or acknowledge you, leaving you feeling isolated and wondering what you did wrong. This tactic is designed to make you feel powerless and desperate for their approval. Their silence is a manipulative tool, not a reflection of your worth. Don’t let it break your spirit.
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2. They’re always rolling their eyes at you.
An eye-roll, a sigh, a sarcastic smirk — these dismissive gestures are designed to belittle you, even when no one else is paying close attention. It’s a way to destroy your confidence without outright confrontation. Don’t let their childish BS dull your shine. Recognize their behavior for what it is – a petty attempt to feel superior.
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3. They leave you out on purpose.
The lunch invite “accidentally” doesn’t reach you, or the group chat goes silent whenever you join. This deliberate exclusion hurts and is intended to make you feel like an outsider, questioning your place within the group. Their cliquey behavior speaks volumes about their character, not yours. Look for genuine connections where you feel valued.
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4. They “forget” important details.
Conveniently misremembering deadlines, agreements, or things you told them is a way to make you look bad or put you at a disadvantage. This undermines your competence and can even sabotage your work or reputation. Document important details and communications to protect yourself. Don’t let their forgetfulness become your burden.
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5. They constantly steal the credit from you.
They want the spotlight and might try to repackage your ideas as their own or downplay your contributions in front of others. Don’t let them get away with it. Be prepared to calmly correct the situation and own your accomplishments. Your work speaks for itself, so don’t hesitate to claim the recognition you deserve.
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6. They constantly give you backhanded compliments.
“You did a good job… for someone so inexperienced.” Compliments that sting are meant to tear you down, not genuinely praise you. This keeps you feeling insecure and dependent on their validation. Recognize backhanded compliments for what they are – veiled insults. Don’t internalize their attempts to put you down.
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7. They make jokes that go way too far.
Some people disguise mean comments as “jokes,” targeting your insecurities and making you feel bad. Then, if you get upset, they say you’re “too sensitive”. Don’t fall for this! It’s a way to invalidate your feelings and excuse their cruelty. If someone’s constantly hurting you under the guise of humor, it’s time to set boundaries. Tell them their “jokes” aren’t funny and that you deserve respect.
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8. They “help,” but make it worse.
Watch out for those backhanded offers to “help.” Sometimes it’s a weird power play – they purposely mess things up so you look bad (and then they can swoop in “save the day”). If you can, politely decline the offer or make it clear you’ll be double-checking their work. Don’t let them sabotage you to boost their own ego.
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9. They nitpick every little thing.
Constant micromanaging and hyper-focus on minor mistakes make you feel like you can never do anything right in their eyes. This is a way to break your confidence and maintain a sense of control over you. Try to separate constructive feedback from excessive criticism. Focus on doing your best work, and don’t let their nitpicking crush your spirit.
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10. They question your judgment.
They subtly undermine your decisions, second-guess your expertise, or make you doubt your own competence, especially in front of other people. This kills your ability to trust yourself and positions them as the superior authority. Don’t let their doubts become your own. Remind yourself of your capabilities and trust your instincts.
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11. They give condescending “guidance.”
They treat you like you don’t know what you’re doing and explain things you’re perfectly capable of, even when it clearly isn’t needed. This condescending behavior is to make you feel small and dependent. Recognize their explanations as an attempt to control you, not genuinely help you out. Politely thank them for the “input” and move right alonng.
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12. They spread rumors and gossip about you.
These people love to spread half-truths and straight-up lies behind your back, trying to trash your reputation and turn others against you. It’s their way of isolating you and undermining your standing in the group. If you can, call out the gossip-monger directly and set the record straight. If not, distance yourself from anyone who buys into or spreads the rumors. In the end, your true character will shine through and speak louder than their BS lies. Don’t let their toxic gossip get to you – rise above it and keep being your awesome self.
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13. You feel drained around them.
Dealing with these people leaves you drained, anxious, and filled with a sense of dread. You start doubting yourself and your own abilities, which is a clear sign their subtle mind games are really doing a number on your emotional well-being. Pay close attention to how you feel after being around them. If they consistently leave you feeling like crap, it’s time to protect your energy by keeping your distance as much as possible. Life’s too short to let manipulative people mess with your head and bring you down.
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14. Your boundaries are trampled.
These people have no problem steamrolling right over your boundaries, ignoring your requests, and making inappropriate comments that leave you feeling uneasy. Disrespecting your limits is their way of trying to control you and see how much they can get away with. Don’t let them push you around – stand firm and make it clear what you will and won’t tolerate. Don’t be afraid to put your foot down and say “no” when needed.
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15. It’s blamed on YOUR personality.
When you call them out on their crap, they flip the script and make YOU out to be the difficult, oversensitive, or incompetent one. They refuse to own up to their actions and take responsibility. This is classic gaslighting, designed to make you question your own perceptions and let them off the hook. Don’t fall for it or start believing their accusations. If you can, keep receipts of their shady behavior and lean on trusted friends who have your back. Remember, you’re not the problem here – they are.
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16. Your gut tells you something’s wrong.
Even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what they’ve done, a constant feeling of unease or like you’re walking on eggshells around them is a major warning sign. Trust your gut – if something just feels consistently off, it probably is. Don’t ignore or downplay your intuition. It’s time to start figuring out how to deal with the situation and protect yourself.
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