Relationships get comfortable pretty fast. Some guys can get complacent and lazy before you even realize what’s happening. They figure you’re going to stick around regardless, so why keep trying so hard? If you have the sneaking suspicions that you’re not being appreciated as much as you should be by your guy, here’s how to tell if he’s totally taking you for granted:
He’s stopped making sweet gestures.
Once upon a time, he would bring you breakfast in bed and buy you flowers for no reason at all. Now you can barely get him to remember to stop off at the store on the way home. You two slipped into a routine and now he’s not making any romantic effort at all.
He never asks for your input.
He always used to make you feel like your opinion was important and meaningful. That’s part of the reason you ended up with him in the first place. Now he forgets to tell you important details or even include you in major decisions that he’s making. If he expects you to stay with him, that’s a huge no-no.
His manners have gone out the window.
When you were first together, he opened doors for you. He warmed up your feet in bed and he made sure to get up before you in the morning and have coffee ready for you when you woke up. He was the sweetest. All that’s gone now that you’ve been together a while. It’s not like you’re high maintenance, but you definitely miss it.
He doesn’t compliment you anymore.
God, he was such a prince in the beginning and now, nothing! Another three-month wonder. The worst is when you call him out on it and instead of listening and changing, he makes weak protests like, “I always think you look pretty” and, “You’re just being insecure.” WTF? If he can’t remember how special you are, someone else will.
He never thanks you for anything.
He used to notice and appreciate every little gesture you made wholeheartedly. Now you rub his back and he just falls asleep, or even worse, watches TV like you aren’t even there. He doesn’t notice how you go out of your way for him. Why keep doing it?
He barely even notices the effort you make.
You haven’t gotten complacent and given up on the romance. You’re still trying. Not only has he gotten lazy, he barely even notices all the energy you’re spending keeping the two of you afloat! You want to do nice things for him, but it’s so discouraging to feel like he just expects it now.
You feel like more of a burden than a priority.
You’re just another regular element of his life now, nothing special or unique or shiny and new. He used to hang on your every word, but now you have to tell him things two or three times and you’re lucky if it even registers then. It sucks. You can’t make him treat you like he used to do.
He doesn’t ask you about your day.
If he’s stopped taking an active interest in your life outside of the partnership, he’s definitely gotten lazy. It’s so important to talk about your solo experiences out in the world. It keeps things fresh and interesting. Also, if you’re with someone, he should at least show a basic interest in your well-being! Come on now.
When you address a conflict, he dismisses you.
He’s not having it. You want to work on the problem and he wants to ignore it. That’s not going to work. One of the hardest and most necessary components of navigating a successful relationship is working through problems before they become insurmountable. If he’s stopped wanting to fix issues, he’s definitely taking you for granted.
Trying to get him to do anything is like pulling teeth.
He’s just generally gotten lazy, and it sucks. You feel like you’re always nagging him, but you don’t know what else to do. You want to keep your partnership strong and healthy, but you can’t do it alone. It’s a two-way street, and he’s stopped taking the necessary measures to keep up his end of the bargain.
Everything you do seems to annoy him.
Nothing has changed in the way the two of you interact, but suddenly he seems super annoyed by you all the time. You try to give him some space and independence, but it doesn’t matter. Any time you ask him to do something for you or get in an argument, he’s snippy and borderline rude. There’s no way to keep up a relationship without mutual respect. He needs to remember how good he has it with you!
He doesn’t behave like he’s attracted to you.
Uh-oh. When the sex starts going south (no pun intended), you need to worry for sure. If he’s taking you for granted in both the emotional and physical aspects of your relationship, it’s much harder to manage than if it’s just one or the other. Nothing feels crappier than your boyfriend rolling over or falling asleep when you try to initiate sex. He’s supposed to be the horny one, dammit. What the hell?
He hardly ever tries to have sex with you.
It’s bad enough if he’s not accepting your advances, but when he’s not initiating sex either, whoa. No. You two need to sit down and have a serious talk. No woman wants to do all the work during sex, and no woman wants to feel undesired. If you’re giving your heart, soul and body to a man, he should damn well appreciate it.
When you do have sex, you’re the one doing all the work.
Okay, he initiates… but then he just lies back and lets you do everything. Say what? You’re a willing, giving partner but you want some reciprocation. If he’s not making sure you’re getting the pleasure you deserve, then he’s definitely taking you for granted in the worst way. Remind him that you’re still a catch and he shouldn’t forget to treat you like one.
He’s let himself go physically.
Okay, so this happens in relationships a lot. Both people get comfortable and stop trying so hard to stay fit and healthy. What’s most important is that you’re on the same page. If you’re still super into eating right and working out but he’s decided he doesn’t care about any of that, it’s a problem. You’re living in the same house, but you aren’t living the same way. You prioritize different things and he doesn’t care that you want him to stay healthy so you can have him around for a long time. He’s being selfish, inconsiderate, lazy, and frankly, stupid. He’s going to lose you, but his health issues will stick around for sure.
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