Why Does Telling A Guy You’re Not Interested Only Make Him Want You More?

Guys are sort of weird. This doesn’t apply to all of them, obviously – let’s save the #notallmen for another time – but many guys out there just go wild for you after you say you’re not interested. As soon as you say that you don’t really want to go out with them, they suddenly decide you’re the woman of their dreams and they just have to have you. Why is that?

Some men can’t fathom the idea that women aren’t interested in them.

You’ve met one of these guys — we all have. A man like this genuinely believes he’s a gift to women, but he’s so enamored with himself that there isn’t exactly room for another person in the relationship. Telling him you’re not interested in him makes him doubt himself, his charm, his appeal, and the way he views himself. He just can’t have that.

Your lack of interest makes you worthy of a chase.

Guys love a chase, right? Hey, women do too — there’s such a thrill there that can feel amazing sometimes. However, no, your lack of interest does not mean you want a dude to chase you. A guy may think otherwise, but he’s wrong and so is every other man with his viewpoint. This kind of behavior makes him a stalker, not a potential boyfriend.

Guys view indifference as a challenge.

The only thing men love more than a chase is a challenge. It’s one reason why ignoring heinously behaved men doesn’t always work. Sometimes, you have to shut down that crap before it even gets started. Indifference isn’t a sign that a woman is just playing coy little come-hither games. Ladies, you’re not sending mixed signals. These bros just pick up on them that way.

Dudes think you’re playing hard to get… except you’re not playing.

You don’t want anyone to “get” you. You’re not interested. However, certain guys believe that your “no” is just another game. You’re flirting, playing hard to get, and all he has to do is pursue you a bit more persistently, he’s convinced of it. Doesn’t that skeeve you out?

It’s not hard to act easygoing around someone you’re not remotely into at all.

See, your attitude is different around people you’re not interested in romantically. Even if you’re confident, you probably get a little awkward or giggly or something anytime you’re around someone who tickles your pickle. It’s different with guys you’re not into, but they don’t see it that way. Men see your easygoing confidence and lack of concern over what they think and they like it, so they keep trying to snag you. Pffft.

Certain men perceive a lack of interest as a lack of interest in commitment.

That is, some guys still want you because they think that, even though you’re not interested in them, you’ll hook up with them anyway. They believe there’s a chance for a casual, no-strings-attached kind of thing, and damned if they’re not going to take that chance.

Some dudes always want what they can’t have.

Ain’t that the way it goes? The truth is that, with these particular men, they probably won’t want you anymore once they have you. It’s just the type. They get bored easily — as soon as the challenge is over, in fact. They pursue you because you’re not readily available. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, dating, married, committed, or gay. They’ll keep trying.

Some dudes just can’t take “no” for an answer.

That’s it. They just can’t stand hearing the word “no” in response to their desires. I don’t think I’m off the mark in urging you to avoid men like this at all costs. It’s not always possible, but if there’s even a hint that you’re dealing with a guy like this, get away as far and as fast as you can.

Guys are irresistibly drawn to a confident woman who knows what she wants.

Yeah, you said you’re not interested, but to some men, a woman who knows what she wants is the hottest thing ever – even if she flat-out doesn’t want him. The very fact that you know your mind and express your desires and dislikes without hesitation or apology is the reason he wants you in spite of your refusal.

They think it’s their job to convince you.

Stay away from guys like this, as well. They’re a little creepy. It is no man’s job to convince you to want him. Unless you’re literally on a game show where you will win $10 million for picking this one single guy, no dude has any right to make you change your opinions – about him or anything else. Should you find yourself in the presence of a man like this, calmly and coolly repeat your rejection each time he attempts to convince you otherwise.

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