There’s No Such Thing As “Too Emotional” — You Don’t Have to Apologize For Having Feelings

There’s No Such Thing As “Too Emotional” — You Don’t Have to Apologize For Having Feelings ©iStock/Wundervisuals

Any guy who’s ever made you feel stupid for having feelings is a guy you don’t need in your life. You should never have to apologize for your emotions because there’s no such thing as “too emotional.” You have every right to feel how you do and don’t a guy convince you otherwise.

  1. Having feelings means you’re human. It means your heart is open and you’ve got a soul that wants to connect to others. You should never feel ashamed because you’ve felt deeply. Feeling things means you’re living life to the fullest, as best as you can. You’re one of the billions of human beings who know what it’s like to feel intensely, and that’s a beautiful thing.
  2. You don’t have to cater your emotions to someone else’s comfort. Your only responsibility when it comes to how you feel about someone or something is to yourself. You don’t need to tamp down your emotional reaction in order to make someone else more comfortable with you. If you’ve been hurt by someone, they’ve hurt you. You are allowed process however you need to, in whatever ways you need to. You don’t need to downplay it in order to make them feel better.
  3. You are allowed to feel exactly how you feel. Your heart feels things and that’s okay. You need those emotions to help you make decisions about what’s best for you. Pain is your heart’s way of letting you know that something is wrong, and you need to be able to listen to it. You don’t need to tell yourself to feel differently than you do because you get to respond in whatever way you need to.
  4. There’s no one right timetable for emotions. You can feel what you feel for as long as you need to feel it. That’s your right. You don’t need to try and force your emotions to meet someone else’s timetable. All that would result in is stunting your emotions to the point where you’d be actively harming your own recovery. You are the only one who can tell how much time you need.
  5. You own your own reaction. You don’t have to give up the right to feel how you feel to someone else. If someone hurt you, you own the ways you feel about it. You can’t afford to give up your reactions to someone else’s demands because that’s unhealthy and hurts you (and them) in the long run. You get to decide what’s an appropriate reaction. No one else does.
  6. Emotions aren’t a bad thing. Having hurt feelings isn’t a negative judgment on you. Your emotions are valuable and enriching to your life and to the lives of those around you. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is trying to control you, and they’re not someone you need to listen to.
  7. You can’t always put other people’s emotional needs before your own. It’s a noble thing to do in certain circumstances, but if you find yourself continually doing this, it’s not helping you or those you’re catering to. You have to reach a point where you’re comfortable owning your needs and making sure you’re letting your own emotions take priority. It’s hard, but you can get there.
  8. You are the only one who decides what your feelings mean. Someone might be trying to make you feel like you can’t decipher what your own emotions mean. In fact, the kind of man who gives you crap for being “too emotional” is the same kind of man who tries to use this controlling tactic. Your emotions aren’t complex enough to require farming them out to someone else to have them tell you what you really feel. You are the best, most qualified person to figure out what kind of things you’re feeling.
  9. Your emotions are powerful. That makes you powerful, too. You don’t need to feel ashamed of that. People who are trying to shame you for your emotional responses are wrong, full stop. You are free to tap into what you’re feeling and let that guide you through the world. That is a powerful force and one you can be proud of.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut