Things Men Think Women Don’t Notice (But They Totally Do)

It’s easy to underestimate how observant women can be. They notice the subtle details, pick up on body language cues, and remember things you said months (and sometimes even years!) ago. Sure, they might not always make a big deal about it, but don’t assume your actions or words go unnoticed. There are plenty of little things men think women miss, but unfortunately for them sometimes, they really don’t.

1. How he treats other people

A man’s courtesy, respect, and kindness (or lack thereof) toward the people around him speaks volumes. Whether it’s how he interacts with waiters, talks to his friends, or treats his family, women are paying attention. We know that how he treats other people he doesn’t want to sleep with is a good indicator of how he might eventually treat us. Respect toward even the people he doesn’t have to impress shows genuine character.

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2. His effort (or lack thereof) with his appearance

Women notice if a guy puts some thought into how he looks, but this doesn’t mean perfectly styled hair or a fancy wardrobe. It’s about basic grooming, clean clothes, and showing he cares enough to present himself well. Putting in even a bit of effort shows attention to detail, and let’s face it, who doesn’t appreciate someone who looks well-put-together? As Forbes explains, the way you dress and present yourself to the world says a lot about you.

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3. His body language and posture

The way a man carries himself reveals a ton. Is his posture slumped and closed-off, or is he standing tall with confidence? Does he make eye contact or avoid it? Women subconsciously pick up on these cues, and it influences their perception. Strong posture and open body language signal that he’s approachable and present.

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4. The way he talks about his exes

If a guy constantly badmouths his exes, it’s a major red flag. Women notice this because it shows potential bitterness and an inability to take responsibility for his part in those past relationships. Even subtle complaints about an ex can raise an eyebrow. On the other hand, if he handles the topic with respect and maturity, it’s definitely a positive sign.

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5. His manners (or lack thereof)

Employer interviewing serious female job candidate for hiring. Client, consulting financial or legal advisor, lawyer, broker, banker. Customer meeting with manager. Business consultation concept

Basic manners go a long way! Things like holding doors, remembering a “please” or “thank you,” and generally acting polite – these aren’t outdated gestures. They show respect, and women absolutely notice. Good manners make interactions feel smooth and are an easy way to show consideration for other people.

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6. Whether he’s a good listener

friends chatting over coffee at a park

Women want to feel truly heard and understood. Does a man truly pay attention when she speaks, or does he zone out or constantly interrupt? Good listening skills are surprisingly attractive, and women notice who takes the time to truly listen. It shows that he not only cares about what she has to say but also that he genuinely wants to connect.

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7. His sense of humor (or lack thereof)

Beautiful latin couple talking and smiling looking happy while having a coffee date at a beautiful cafe

Everyone appreciates a good laugh, and a witty sense of humor can be super charming. Of course, humor is subjective, but women notice if a man is genuinely funny, tries too hard, or worst of all, has a mean-spirited sense of humor. A great sense of humor reveals a playful spirit and lightheartedness that’s incredibly attractive.

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8. His overall confidence (or lack thereof)

True confidence is quiet and subtle, not to be confused with arrogance. Women can sense whether a guy is comfortable in his own skin or if he’s constantly seeking validation. That inner confidence – or the absence of it – shines through clearly. Confidence isn’t about being the loudest in the room, it’s about carrying yourself with ease and a quiet self-assuredness.

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9. His shoes

Young couple sitting at the table with cup of tea and talking to each other during their date in cafe

Women often pay attention to details, and shoes are no exception. Whether it’s a polished pair of dress shoes or stylish sneakers, a man’s choice in footwear can say a lot about his style and how much attention he pays to the finer points. Nice shoes don’t have to be expensive, but when they’re clean and fitting to the occasion, it shows an extra bit of care and attention.

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10. Whether he’s genuinely interested in her

boyfriend kissing girlfriend's forehead coffee shopiStock

Women are perceptive and can tell the difference between someone feigning interest and someone who truly wants to know them. Does he ask thoughtful questions? Remember details from previous conversations? If he’s making a real effort to connect, women will definitely notice. Genuine interest communicates that he values her as a person and isn’t just going through the motions.

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11. His ambition (or lack thereof)

Ambition doesn’t mean a guy has to be the next Elon Musk. But women notice whether he has goals, drive, and a sense of direction in life. Even if his passions lie outside traditional career paths, a willingness to work hard and a desire to grow are definitely attractive qualities.

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12. His level of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage both your own emotions and other people’s feelings. Women notice if a guy is in tune with his emotions, can express himself in a healthy way, and shows empathy and understanding towards her feelings. A man who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and emotionally aware is incredibly appealing.

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13. His scent

A subtle, pleasant scent can be surprisingly memorable. As Lindsey Bordone, M.D., assistant professor of dermatology at Columbia University Medical Center, told GQ, body odor (or lack thereof) can either attract or repel us from the people around us. Whether it’s his cologne or simply a clean, fresh smell, a good scent makes an impression. Of course, this works the other way too – strong, overwhelming cologne is a definite turn-off for most women.

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14. Whether he pays on dates

While plenty of women are perfectly happy to split the bill or take turns paying, the gesture of offering to pay is still appreciated. It’s less about the money and more about the intention behind it. Reaching for the check shows he values her and the time they’re spending together.

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15. How he responds to constructive feedback

Life is full of moments for growth, and how a man handles constructive feedback reveals a lot about his character. Does he get defensive, or can he take feedback on board and see it as an opportunity to improve? Women notice a man’s openness to learning and self-improvement.

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16. His kindness

Group of Happy friends having breakfast in the restaurant

Genuine kindness is always attractive. Whether it’s a small gesture of thoughtfulness, going out of his way to help someone, or standing up for what’s right, acts of kindness speak loudly to a woman’s heart. Simple acts of compassion show warmth of character and make the world a better place – who wouldn’t notice that?

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Sinitta Weston grew up in Edinburgh but moved to Sydney, Australia to for college and never came back. She works as a chemical engineer during the day and at night, she writes articles about love and relationships. She's her friends' go-to for dating advice (though she struggles to take the same advice herself). Her INFJ personality makes her extra sensitive to others' feelings and this allows her to help people through tough times with ease. Hopefully, her articles can do that for you.