Extroverts get a buzz from being around people and showing off their social skills, and that’s cool. However, there are some of us who are less “life of the party” and more “leave me alone.” For us, having the time and space to be completely on our own and enjoy the quiet is the secret to maintaining our overall well-being — and our sanity. People who value their alone time see it as a non-negotiable, and they do these things differently as a result.
1. They don’t make plans for every night of the week.
In fact, they usually don’t make plans for more than one or two nights a week. People who value alone time arrange their schedules so that they actually get to enjoy time to themselves. They don’t like to be over-busy, and they won’t say yes to every social invitation that comes their way (even if it would be kinda fun). They’re experts at not over-extending themselves, and that means carving out solo time in which there’s nothing on their calendars.
2. They spend time in nature.
I feel like there’s a perception of people who prefer their own company as some kind of weirdos who live in dark hovels and never see the light of day, but that’s not actually the case. Most people who value alone time also tend to value time out in nature. They love going for long walks, hiking, running, forest bathing — you name it. Part of what makes them feel more connected to themselves is feeling more connected to Mother Nature, as corny as that sounds.
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4. They embrace opportunities to disconnect from technology.
Can you truly say you value alone time when you spend all of it glued to your phone, scrolling through social media, swiping on dating apps, and wasting time on Candy Crush (yes, I still play, shut up)? People who are cool with being solo don’t just find it easy to put down their phones, they can turn them off for hours on end or even a full day and just enjoy kinda floating in the void. Time alone means time without technology too.
5. They don’t feel weird about going out solo.
Just because they’re not hanging out with other people doesn’t mean they’re stuck staring at the four walls of their apartment. Part of enjoying alone time is doing things you enjoy, just solo. For that reason, they love taking themselves out for coffee, grabbing some lunch at their favorite restaurant, or even going to see a movie, complete with a large popcorn and a soda just for themselves. It’s not weird, it’s totally natural to them.
6. They make an effort to strengthen their relationship with themselves.
I really hate the word “self-care” because it’s been so overused as to be kind of meaningless at this point, but hear me out here. Self-care is really about bringing yourself back to center, showing yourself the love, respect, and gentleness you expect from people you allow in your life. As a result, this helps you get to know yourself better and helps you love yourself more, both of which are very good things.
7. They set boundaries and hold people to them.
Because they’re cool with their own company, they don’t feel the need to accept less than they deserve or desire from anyone in their lives. Can’t treat them with respect, consideration, and dignity? See ya — they value their alone time enough to be fine with having an excess of it rather than dealing with bad behavior from people. They have a firm grasp on their boundaries and won’t budge on them for anyone.
8. They make self-enrichment a priority.
One of the reasons some people value alone time so much is that it gives them the opportunity to work on stuff that enriches their mind, body, and soul. (Ugh, cringe, I know, but go with me here.) They work out, practice a creative endeavor, read, learn new things, etc. when they’re on their own. They appreciate that life is all about learning and growing, so they give themselves every opportunity to do so.
9. They embrace canceled plans.
For some people, canceled plans on a Friday night is enough to fill them with dread. Definitely not the case for people who value their alone time. They see it as an opportunity to wear their comfiest clothes and hang out with their favorite person: themselves. It’s not that they don’t want to hang out with their friends, they just get that things happen or that sometimes people just can’t be bothered leaving the house. They’ll never give you a hard time about it!
10. They refuse to sacrifice their alone time even when in a relationship.
Even when they find the love of their lives, people who value alone time aren’t going to give it up for anyone. They’ll always require time and space for themselves, no matter what. Being together 24/7 is not in their DNA and isn’t something they’re interested in. As a result, their partnerships tend to be a lot happier and healthier (and a lot less codependent).
