Earning someone’s trust is hard and losing it is incredibly easy. There are a lot of toxic guys who will lie, cheat, and act like total a-holes, leaving you feeling betrayed and hurt. Thankfully, all of that changes when you finally find a trustworthy guy.
You realize you didn’t actually trust your exes.
When you land a gentleman who shows up with wine when he knows you’ve had a hard day, you’ll find yourself surprised by how new this experience is. You’ve been brought wine before. This shouldn’t feel special but it does. It’s different because you know his intentions; when he brings you your favorite candy “just because,” you know he’s not making up for anything. Not having to glance around every corner and every surprise Rocky Road Ice Cream carton for the hidden meaning is incredibly freeing.
Your self-esteem skyrockets.
Obviously you don’t need to rely on the opinions of a man to feel beautiful, but boy can it be a quick and easy pick-me-up on a rough day. When you finally land a guy you actually trust, you take him at his word. When he calls you beautiful, you know he means it. When he texts and asks about your day, you know he’s actually interested. Someone genuinely thinks you’re beautiful and interesting—keeping that in the back of your mind can really lift your spirits.
You’ll probably hurt his feelings by accident.
When you’re used to reading “what r u up to” and expecting some gross come-on, you’re going to respond in kind. You’ll probably roll your eyes at his compliments or question where he was this past weekend a little too aggressively. If your expectations are closer to the toilet than the heavens, you’re going to react to him with more suspicion than he deserves. Hopefully, you come around quickly enough to salvage his feelings because you don’t deserve to have a relationship ruined by the idiots of your past.
You realize how easy a relationship can be.
Of course, all relationships take work, whether it be with your family, friend, boyfriend, or cat. But you don’t recognize the unnecessary stress you’ve endured before until you find a guy you can trust. You might be stressed over the argument you had about the electricity bill, but you’re not stressing because you don’t know how he’s going to react or you don’t know where his money comes from. Waiting for problems to be handled is worrisome, but at least you can trust that it will be handled.
You fully understand the difference between boys and men.
He doesn’t play the part of the doting and affectionate boyfriend because of gimmicks he saw on TV, nor does he try new sex stuff with you from some cheaply made porn he once saw. Boys act out the boyfriend script to fulfill a quota so they can hopefully have sex then go back to playing Xbox; men actually earn your trust by being genuine with their emotions and by being upfront with when they want to play Xbox. Once you find the latter, the difference between boys and men becomes painfully obvious.
Memes about crappy guys don’t relate to you anymore.
Sure, your guy might have some stupid or gross habits that you can’t stand, but the “men are trash” memes and quotes you used to double-tap on Instagram without a second thought suddenly aren’t making you laugh-cry as much as they used to. Obviously, men are as diverse in personality as a gender as the entire animal kingdom, but ’til now it has sure felt a lot like all the men in your life have disappointed in similar ways. Now, however, your faith in men has been a little revitalized.
You question yourself.
This shouldn’t feel so new. You’ve deserved someone you can trust your entire life, why is it just happening now? What have you been doing wrong? What did you do right this time? The impulse to feel like kind of an idiot is tempting, but don’t succumb. We’ve all settled for McDonald’s because we were just too tired to cook. There’s no shame in that. Besides, even if you do feel like an idiot, tell that trustworthy man of yours that you’re feeling down on yourself. He’ll pick you right back up.
You learn more about your non-single self.
When you’re with someone you trust, you feel safe. You can’t fully express yourself when you’re always on guard, always searching for hidden messages or trying to decipher compliments. Once that guard is let down, you discover new parts of being in a relationship that you didn’t know you liked. Maybe you’re not as into movie dates as you thought you were, or maybe you’re more spontaneous in bed than you expected. No matter what you learn, you end up being closer to him because you’re finally fully honest with yourself.
Your dating standards are permanently raised.
It doesn’t matter if this man is “The One” or not. Once you’ve tasted the sweet fruit of trust, there’s no going back. You can’t return to the mind games and ghostings and vague texts after being with a guy who has a platonic female friend that you actually trust is platonic. You should not and will not settle for any less. He treated you how you deserved to be treated and from now on, so will any guy you choose to date.
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