Things You Do At Home That Would Horrify Your Guests

Things You Do At Home That Would Horrify Your Guests

We all have those weird little habits at home – the ones we’d never admit to out in the world. Talking to your plants? Wearing the same fuzzy robe for a week straight? Maybe even tasting the batter before it’s fully cooked? Turns out, you’re not alone! Get ready to cringe (and maybe laugh a little) as you read through the quirky, mildly horrifying things we all secretly do when we think no one is watching.

1. You have, on occasion, stuck your finger up your nose and totally mined for gold.

We all do it, but would you ever do it with company over? Absolutely not. And sometimes, let’s be honest, you find a real treasure (yes, I feel gross even writing that). It feels oddly satisfying, even though it’s probably the grossest thing on the planet. Maybe we should all carry tiny tissues, just in case.

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2. Bathroom counter? Floor? Sink? Doesn’t matter – you’ve definitely dropped food and eaten it anyway.

The 5-second rule should be more like the “however long it takes me to pick it up” rule. Honestly, sometimes that cookie just looks too tasty to toss. A little dirt never hurt anyone, right? Besides, it adds an extra bit of crunch.

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3. You’ve used a Q-tip WAY too far into your ear and it kinda felt… great?

Super weird, super satisfying, and oh so dangerous. We shouldn’t…but we do. It’s like this forbidden pleasure that you know is bad, but the feeling is just too good. Let’s just pretend earwax removal doesn’t have its own dedicated Wikipedia page…

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4. There’s a stain on that comfy shirt you always grab… you just don’t want to know what it is.

Mystery stains are like Schrödinger’s cat: better not to open that box and confirm your fears. Is it chocolate? Ketchup? Something far, far worse? Honestly, sometimes ignorance is bliss when it comes to our favorite clothes.

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5. You can make some truly ungodly sounds when home alone. That’s your superpower.

Burps, farts, weird creaky noises… the symphony of being totally comfortable and kinda disgusting. It’s your personal soundtrack of relaxation, a concerto of the slightly gross. And hey, no one’s around to judge, so why not unleash your inner beast?

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6. At least once, you’ve sniffed something in the fridge that you KNOW is off, just to see how bad it is.

It’s science… or maybe just a deep desire to gag? There’s something strangely thrilling about the stench of expired food. It’s like braving a haunted house, but for your nose. And let’s face it, you totally enjoy seeing how disgusted you can make yourself.

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7. Your dog sheds like a tumbleweed factory, and your sofa is basically wearing a fur coat now.

Calm Middle age Caucasian man sitting on sofa listening to music enjoying meditation for sleep and peaceful mind in wireless headphones, leaning back with his lovely chihuahua dog sit besides.

Lint roll? Nah, dog hair is just a cozy accessory. It’s basically become the new upholstery. Plus, who needs a blanket when you’ve got a furry couch? Okay, maybe it’s time to vacuum…

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8. The bathroom trash gets WAY too full before you break down and empty it.

The stench is a challenge, like climbing Everest but with used tissues instead of ice picks. Sometimes it feels like the trash can has its own gravitational pull. You just throw one more thing in, and then another, and pretty soon it’s overflowing. But hey, at least you’re keeping the flies entertained!

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9. There’s a reason the back corners of the shower are…a little murky.

Deep cleaning is for special occasions, like when the in-laws are due in 5 minutes. That’s when you bust out the power scrubber and make that shower gleam. The rest of the time, well, selective blindness is a handy tool. Besides, a little soap scum builds character…right?

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10. That pile of clothes on your bedroom chair has been growing into a sentient being for weeks.

“The Chair” now has its own personality and questionable fashion sense. You vaguely remember those were once clean clothes, but now they’re just part of the furniture. Honestly, maybe it will just fold itself someday. That’d be a neat trick.

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11. Sometimes you forget how long it’s been since you changed the sheets.

Dust mites aren’t just roommates, they’re throwing wild parties in there. It’s like a microscopic music festival, and you’re the unwilling host. Fresh sheets day is always a revelation, though – how did you even sleep in that?

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12. You have, shamefully, eaten cereal straight out of the box like a trough.

Dishes? Why bother when the crunchy goodness is right there! Besides, doesn’t it just taste better directly from the source? It’s the perfect late-night snack, and no judgmental bowls to make you feel guilty.

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13. You know EXACTLY what that weird smell in your living room is, but choosing to ignore it feels easier.

Mystery smells are like houseplants, maybe they’ll just go away if you neglect them long enough. Or maybe it’s some forgotten takeout container developing its own ecosystem. Really, the only solution is to light 20 candles and hope for the best.

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14. Pimple popping videos? Grossly satisfying. Picking your own zits? Even better.

Sometimes, your bathroom mirror becomes a scene from a low-budget horror movie. Yet, there’s a weird sense of triumph in conquering those blemishes. Just remember: gloves are your friends, unless you want to explain those weird scabs later…

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15. You’ve perfected the art of sitting on the toilet for wayyyy too long, just scrolling.

The bathroom doubles as a private newsroom, even if your legs go numb. Sometimes it’s the only place to get some peace and quiet. Plus, you never know when inspiration for that world-changing idea will strike.

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16. There have been days when your main form of cleaning was shoving stuff under the bed.

Out of sight, out of mind, until there’s an under-bed avalanche. Who needs a minimalist lifestyle when you can have a hidden world of clutter? Maybe someday you’ll do a deep dive and find all those missing socks…or maybe not.

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17. You have definitely worn the same pajamas for way longer than socially acceptable.

Real pants? Never heard of ’em. Pajamas are the uniform of relaxation, and sometimes you just gotta embrace the cozy life. Besides, who’s going to judge you if you never leave the house? It’s the perfect excuse for a pajama-all-day situation.

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Josh grew up in Connecticut and thought he could never be happier away from big bodies of water until he moved to Minneapolis and fell in love with it. He writes full-time, with his lifestyle content being published in the likes of Men's Health, Business Insider, and many more. When he's not writing, he likes running (but not enough to train for a marathon even though his buddy won't stop asking him).