We’re often told family ties mean putting others first, even at our own expense. But what about personal growth? This is about breaking those mental shackles. Consider this your permission slip to live life on your terms. You don’t owe anyone — that’s right, not even your family — any of these things.
1. An apology for things you haven’t done
While you might think that saying you’re sorry for things you haven’t done is about taking one for the team because you want to keep your relationship going, this is completely wrong. You only owe someone an apology when you’ve actually made a mistake or hurt them in some way. You’re not a doormat!
2. An explanation for your single status
Whether it’s your friends or family members who keep asking you why you’re single or when you’re going to settle down, you don’t have to try to explain your stance. Your relationships — or lack thereof — are your business, nobody else’s. Why are they so invested in who you’re dating, anyway?
3. An explanation for why you don’t want to do something
When someone asks you to do them a favor and you don’t want to, you don’t owe them a long-winded explanation for why you’re saying a polite but firm “no,” which is a complete sentence. Seriously, walk away without guilt because it’s not yours to carry around.
4. Willingness to sacrifice your needs
You shouldn’t ever sacrifice your needs in any kind of relationship, no matter what. If you do, you’ll be putting what makes you happy on the back burner. Don’t confuse making compromises with completely deprioritizing yourself. Have a list of your most important non-negotiables and don’t back down on them.
5. Explanations about the you choose to date
You never have to explain why you’ve decided to date someone, whether it’s to your friends or family. You’re the only one who gets to choose the person you want to be with romantically, and as long as you’re happy with your choices, it’s all good. They don’t have to approve of them or like them — they just have to accept and respect your choice.
6. Your alone time
It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship — you never have to feel like you owe someone your alone time because it’s yours for you to do whatever you want with it. Alone time is essential for your self-care because it recharges your soul and helps you regroup with your feelings.
7. Changes to your appearance
Your appearance is up to you, from your tattoos to your hair color and how you choose to dress. If someone feels the need to criticize you in terms of how you look or expects you to change, don’t succumb to it. That’s their problem, not yours.
8. An explanation for your career choices
While other people might not understand or agree with what you choose to do as a career, you should never allow their comments to derail you from your goals. If you’re in a job you find fulfilling and rewarding, that’s the most important thing.
9. An explanation for why you don’t want kids
Similar to how you don’t have to explain why you’re still single, you don’t need to explain to anyone why you’re quite happy staying childfree. This choice doesn’t make you a bad person — it makes you someone with their own mind and the ability to decide the life they want, not the life other people think they should have.
10. Justifications for how you spend your money
You earn your own money, and that’s why you can spend it in any way you want. You don’t have to explain to anyone where your money goes because it’s really it’s none of their business! You also don’t have to feel obligated to give your hard-earned money to anyone just because they’re your friend/partner/mother.
11. Bail-outs for everything
You don’t have to come to everyone’s rescue when they encounter drama. Some people will come to you and ask for money or other favors, but you don’t have to help anyone you don’t want to (or aren’t in a position to), even if it’s family. You have your reasons for not doing it and people should respect your boundaries.
12. Explanations for what you eat
It’s so mean when people try to tell you how to live, down to what food you eat. They might be trying to control you, but don’t allow yourself to be controlled. You’re an adult, so you get to choose what you eat and how much of it. Period.
13. An explanation for your past mistakes
What you did in your past doesn’t define who you are. Sure, it’s healthy to talk about your past if you feel that other people need to know about it, but honestly? What you’ve done in your past isn’t as important as how you’ve learned from your mistakes. People who try to hold your past over you don’t deserve a place in your life.
14. Willingness to drop your boundaries
You don’t owe anyone the chance to step over your boundaries. They’re there to protect you and ensure you put yourself first in your life. Don’t fall into the trap of making people think they can get whatever they need from you and put you at a disadvantage. Say it with me: you don’t owe anyone your boundaries!
15. Complete obedience
You’re a grown adult, which means you don’t have to obey anyone in your life, no matter what they want or say. You weren’t born to take orders from others when it comes to how you choose to live your life. You set the rules, okay?
Enjoyed this piece? Give us a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
