Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, and for the most part, they are. However, there’s some basic etiquette you should follow as a guest so that you don’t steal the spotlight from the happy couple or cause unnecessary drama. If there’s ever a time to be on your best behavior, this is it. Never do these things on someone else’s big day unless you want some major side-eye.
1. Wear white (unless you’re the bride, duh)
Everyone knows this rule, and most women are considerate enough to follow it. Wearing white or any shade closely resembling the bride’s dress is a major no-no. It’s her day to shine, so don’t try to one-up her by showing up in an ivory pantsuit, even if you think it’s super chic. Check with the bride if you’re unsure about your outfit choice! If there’s ever a place you want to blend in, someone else’s wedding is it.
2. Complain about anything
The food isn’t your favorite, the music is too loud, your seat is far from the bar… Oh well, keep it to yourself! Today is about celebrating the couple saying “I do,” not airing your petty grievances. Focus on the love in the room and try to be happy for the newlyweds, even if you hate the floral arrangements. When you have your own wedding, you can do things your way.
3. Publicly criticize the couple’s choices
Similar to the above, even if you secretly think the playlist is cheesy or the bridesmaid dresses are tragic, keep your opinions to yourself. It’s their wedding, their style, and most importantly, their day. Make sure you’re all smiles and support, even if their “non-traditional” choices aren’t quite your cup of tea. Oh, and keep any snarky commentary private.
4. Propose to your own partner
Popping the question is sweet, but doing it at someone else’s wedding is a big attention-grabbing move that completely that’s totally inappropriate and really tacky. Have your own special moment instead of trying to piggyback on someone else’s. It’s their day to cement their commitment — not yours.
5. Bring uninvited guests
Invites are carefully curated and expensive as hell, so showing up with a plus one or (gasp!) your whole family when not invited is incredibly rude. Respect the couple’s budget and guest list by sticking to the RSVP instructions. If you really need to ask about bringing a date, do it well in advance, not at the door.
6. Get wasted
A little bubbly to toast the couple is fine, but getting sloppy drunk turns you into the embarrassing story everyone whispers about the next day (and not in a good way). Know your limits and pace yourself. Nobody wants to be responsible for the guest who face-plants into the wedding cake.
7. Give an impromptu speech (especially after a few drinks)
Unless you’ve been specifically asked by the couple, impromptu speeches are rarely a good idea. They often drag on, become rambling messes, and might even include embarrassing stories better kept private. Let the couple and those they’ve designated for speeches have their moment to shine.
8. Get into drama with other guests
Weddings can be emotional, and sometimes old grudges bubble up (especially with a bit of liquid courage). That being said, it’s incredibly disruptive to start airing dirty laundry when everyone’s meant to be celebrating. Take it outside, find a quiet corner, or better yet, table the drama completely.
9. Post photos on social media before the couple does
Some couples choose to have unplugged ceremonies or wait until they share a few of their professional photos before guests do. Respect their wishes! Don’t be the one who spoils their big social media reveal by snapping away and sharing without permission.
10. Dominate the dance floor with your wild moves
Busting out the “Macarena” with the flower girls is cute. Taking over with a 20-minute solo interpretive dance in your attempt to impress an ex…not so much. Let everyone have a chance to show off their moves and share the dance floor with others.
11. Ignore the assigned seating
Couples carefully plan their seating chart for a reason, and it really doesn’t matter who you’d rather have sat next to. Disregarding the couple’s wishes throws a wrench in the flow. Even if you spot someone you’d rather chat with at another table, stick to your assigned spot (or politely ask the couple if you can swap with someone else).
12. Start a fight with the wedding vendors
Yes, sometimes things go wrong, but yelling at the harried caterer because they ran out of your favorite hors d’oeuvre isn’t going to fix it. If there’s a problem, discreetly inform the wedding planner or a designated contact person, don’t make a scene yourself. Let the professionals handle it!
13. Make it your dating playground
Weddings can be romantic, but they’re not your personal singles mixer. Aggressively hitting on guests, especially those already coupled up or those working at the event, is extremely inappropriate. If you do spot someone cute, be friendly and respectful, but keep the overt flirting to a minimum.
14. Pressure the couple about their future plans
Questions about when they’re having kids, buying a house, etc., are intrusive and unwelcome. Let them enjoy their newlywed bliss without immediately pestering them about the next phase of their lives. Enjoy their milestone without pressuring them about the next one!
15. Leave without saying goodbye
Slipping out unnoticed might SEEM easier than awkwardly hugging half the room goodbye, but it’s actually rude. Make a point of finding the couple and thanking them for a lovely day before you head out. They’ve put a lot of effort into the celebration, and taking a moment to acknowledge it is basic courtesy.
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