This Is The Quality I Value Most In A Guy

This Is The Quality I Value Most In A Guy ©iStock/Steevy84

Don’t get me wrong — I like excitement and spontaneity in my relationships, but I also really value consistency. I need a guy who doesn’t change his behavior on a daily basis — one who’s secure enough in himself and his feelings that he’s not wishy-washy in how he treats me. Here’s why consistency is the most important quality a guy can have:

  1. It means he was himself to begin with. Some people try to put on a facade to attract others, but that’s not usually easy to keep up once you get close to someone and start spending a lot of time together. When a guy’s consistent, he just proves that he’s a genuine, confident person.
  2. Because life can be inconsistent. If there’s not consistency in your relationship, things can get a little crazy. I need someone who’s stable, who knows who he is, and who isn’t likely to make life any more hectic and unpredictable than it already is.
  3. You can actually get a hold of consistent people. Have you ever tried to date a guy who was a rapid fire texter one day and then wouldn’t respond or answer his phone the next? That’s a no go. I never expect someone to be available all the time, but general phone etiquette and politeness can save a lot of unnecessary stress in a relationship.
  4. I don’t have to guess how he feels about me. Getting to know a new guy can be thrilling because I’m still working out the details of where (if anywhere) this is going… but that can also be a little stressful. Everyone has their moods, but they shouldn’t have me questioning whether or not he even likes me every other day.
  5. The relationship will be less chaotic. A man can be consistently wacky or consistently aggravating, but at least I have a fair chance to make a decision about whether I like it or not. When I can’t predict someone’s behavior, it can catch me off guard and drum up drama I don’t really want.
  6. Relationships take work. I usually have a huge sense of relief when I enter a new relationship, but I also know that there’s work involved in keeping it happy. This is supposed to be fun, but that also takes some consistency. For some people that’s having regular date nights scheduled, for other people that’s making sure that enough sex is being had. Either way, he needs to be as willing to work on it as I am.
  7. I need to be able to trust him. Again, consistency doesn’t mean predictable exactly, but it does mean that if he cares what I want to eat for dinner, he’ll also probably care to hear my opinion about a job offer that he got in a different state.
  8. A consistent guy is way more reliable. People who are consistent in their actions and beliefs are more reliable people, and if I’m going to be committing to anyone, I hope that he’s going to be reliable in the ways that you need. Without reliability in a relationship, it makes it hard to focus on the key stuff like support, love, and growth.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog