My Trust Issues Are Keeping Me Single & Making Me Miss Out On Some Amazing Guys

My ability to trust has been tested so many times over the years that I can hardly manage it at all anymore. I’m tired of trusting a guy and having that faith broken. As a result, I don’t feel like I can trust anyone, even wonderfully sweet men.

  1. I’m eternally nervous about new guys. It’s hard to believe in anyone I don’t know yet. It’s hard even once I do know them. How can I go there when a dude is virtually a stranger? I’m scared of making a mistake and getting hurt in the process. No one likes being hurt.
  2. Even if a man seems legitimately great, he might just be a terrific liar. There are guys out there who will do and say just about anything to get laid. It’s really tough to tell when a man is being genuine or just trying to get into my pants. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, even months in.
  3. I feel like it’s impossible to ever really know someone. It seems like no matter how many years go by, I’ll never be sure if I really know the man I’m dating. I might think I do … but then I think of all those stories about criminals whose wives seem completely surprised that they were living double lives. I don’t want that to be me!
  4. My instincts are usually right but I don’t trust myself either. I know deep down when I’m with a man I can trust, but I don’t believe it. I feel like the minute I get comfortable and secure with someone is the moment I leave myself open to getting horribly hurt. I can tell when something’s fishy — I’ve always had that skill — but sometimes I also suspect things that aren’t real.
  5. I’m terrible at letting myself be vulnerable. My greatest fear is opening up and then being hurt because I don’t recover from such trauma well. The only way I know how to deal with it is to keep my walls up and stay closed off, so I just don’t let myself trust any men at all. I don’t believe that they won’t hurt me if given half a chance, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it.
  6. I get pissed at myself if I get fooled. Instead of knowing that it’s no reflection on me if a man breaks my trust, I get super upset with myself. I should’ve been smarter. I should’ve known. I should’ve seen it coming and prevented myself from getting hurt. I need to get to a place where I forgive myself for being tricked by a master trickster and then move on.
  7. I always think men are going to leave me. I don’t believe that I’m enough to get any man to stay. I think they get bored easily and want to be with a million women. I get into my head and make up all kinds of stories about how I’ll be mistreated and left behind. I don’t know where it comes from, but I know that I don’t honestly believe I’ll find a guy who is content with me and only me for the rest of our lives.
  8. I worry about what other people think. I’m so terrified that other people will know that a guy is breaking my trust and think I’m a fool for not seeing it. I have definitely had friends who were cheated on and never knew, but the people who did know didn’t want to tell them. What if that happens to me? I don’t want to be pitied, I want to know so that I can get the hell out.
  9. I overthink every little detail of our relationship. Because I don’t trust anything entirely, I analyze things that mean nothing and get suspicious over imagined happenings. It’s a mess. If I go too far down the rabbit hole, I have a very hard time coming back to reality and rational thought. I have to let it go and get over myself and my crazy worried brain.
  10. I’m excessively critical because I’m scared to make mistakes. I become very conscious of every little thing I do and every thing that my partner does. I don’t want to go down the wrong path for too long, so I find myself searching for red flags and issues. I even make up problems that aren’t real sometimes, simply because I’m secretly looking for a way out before I get played.
  11. I feel like as soon as I fully trust a guy, he’ll screw me over. I know it’s insane, but I’m afraid to go there because then I’m sure I’ll get hurt. It’s like guys can smell it when you’re all in and that makes them want to cut and run. I know that’s not always the case, but it happens enough to give me pause.
  12. The more wonderful the guy, the more suspicious I get. I firmly believe that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If a guy is too smooth and comes on super strong right away, I don’t buy it for a second. I’m just cautious that way after years of mistakes and heartbreak. If he turns out to actually be a good guy, I’m still afraid that someone else will lure him away or he’ll lose interest in me.
  13. I never like letting another person have any control over my emotions. I’m a control freak, especially when it comes to the safety of my heart. I’m very affectionate and once I’m in, I’m all in. It takes me a while to get there, but I feel deeply. It’s a blessing and a curse, for sure. When I allow myself to care for a man, I’m always terrified that it’ll go badly and I’ll end up crushed.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She hopes that they resonate with you or at the very least make you chuckle a bit. She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and The Indie Chicks.