The Ultimate Guide To Having A Successful One-Night Stand

Let’s face it — the one-night stand is a major part of the millennial dating scene and modern hookup culture. As casual as it may be, there’s still a right and wrong way to go about it. Going about a one-night stand the wrong way can end very badly for all parties involved, so before you go in for your next fling, make a point of it to read up one one-night stand etiquette to ensure it’s great for everyone.

Before The Fling

  • Find out if he’s taken. If you don’t want to cause drama, don’t hook up with a taken man. Similarly, guys shouldn’t hook up with girls who are in a relationship. Even if you don’t respect his significant other, you should respect yourself enough not to be that girl.
  • Make your intentions clear. Believe it or not, guys can be just as thrown off by a girl’s moves as we are by theirs. Let him know plain and simple that you’re only looking for a fling. This will tell him exactly where he stands, and also will keep him from getting his hopes up.
  • Lay down rules that you expect him to follow. Tell him that you expect discretion, a call after the lay, and for him to use a condom. If he disagrees with any of it, don’t go through with it. A guy who doesn’t respect rules is a guy who doesn’t deserve to be with you.
  • For your safety, ask him if there’s anything you should know about his STD status. It never hurts to ask, or to discuss safe sex. It’s not a buzzkill — it’s self-preservation.
  • Make sure you trust him. If you don’t trust him, don’t let him stick it in you.

During The Fling

  • Have fun. Seriously. If you’re not having fun, what’s the point?
  • Keep the cell phones away. A smart one-night stand is one that doesn’t have any photo or video evidence.
  • Keep it safe, sane, and consensual. Don’t pressure him to do something he doesn’t want to do, or doesn’t feel comfortable with, and don’t put up with him doing it to oyu. If you’re into kink, discuss it before even bringing it up in the bedroom.
  • Be clean. No one wants to hook up with someone that smells like a dumpster. Shower right before you get started.
  • Be nice to your one-night stand. Don’t insult him, and don’t make him feel cheap. Just because it’s a one-night stand doesn’t mean you have the right to disrespect him.

After The Fling

  • If it was really good, consider upgrading him to a FWB. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a good experience around for more frequent fun. If you want to do it again, tell him so before he leaves.
  • If you were hosting, offer him access to your shower and give him some refreshments. Working up a sweat can make you feel like you need a quick bath. Similarly, he might feel a bit hungry or thirsty after a hookup. Be nice, and make sure he has a good experience with you.
  • Give him your contact details if you haven’t already. This way, he can call you for Round 2.
  • Keep it discrete. A gentleman never kisses and tells, and neither does a lady. Just like you wouldn’t appreciate him giving friends the play-by-play, he probably doesn’t want you to go talking about it to everyone.
  • Don’t get clingy or obsessive. A one-night stand should have no strings attached to it. Don’t make the grave mistake of getting clingy, being too obvious, or worse, becoming a crazy ex-girlfriend without even dating him. Doing this will only make you look bad and ruin your chances of casual fun afterwards.

One-night stands do not have to be totally sleazy, nor do they have to be high-risk endeavors. As long as you and your partner follow the etiquette guide, it’ll be an enjoyable, safe experience for you both.

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.