If You Want To Date Me, You Have To Prove You’re Not A Loser

If You Want To Date Me, You Have To Prove You’re Not A Loser ©iStock/wundervisuals

Dating these days sucks so I like to keep things simple: if a guy actually makes the decision to be with me, he’s going to have to convince me that he’s not a loser, a player, or a posterchild for birth control. Here’s why I’m not apologizing next time I brush off a guy that doesn’t have his act together:

  1. I don’t want to be with someone I’m embarrassed of. I don’t want to be seen in public with a guy who has no class, no career, no interest in even trying to look decent, and the intelligence of a walnut. Yes, it would be great to have a boyfriend but I’m definitely not that desperate.
  2. I want and need stability. I’d like to be in a stable relationship and losers, by their nature, are unstable. In my opinion, mature, responsible guys want stability and want to be in healthy relationships too — losers don’t.
  3. Dating a guy who doesn’t have his act together never pays off. At best, I’ll have the ego blow of being rejected by a loser. At worst, I would waste years of my life for a guy who doesn’t deserve me, or would even use me.
  4. I don’t want to have to behave like someone’s mom. Losers can’t survive without someone supporting them, cleaning up after them, and dealing with their BS. I’m not that person.
  5. Losers just don’t appreciate good women. The funny thing about guys who are total losers is that they don’t appreciate how rare a loyal, caring, and supportive woman is. In fact, they’ll often bolt as soon as things get boring or troublesome.
  6. It would be damn nice to see a guy who’s actually on my level, money-wise. I don’t make a ton of money but I make enough to be comfortable. That being said, I’m sick of footing the bill because my dates are always broke.
  7. Losers often have various personality issues that they take them out on the people they date. Only a loser would ever try to dominate, manipulate or control a woman. Only losers allow their emotional and mental issues to make others around them miserable. Truthfully, this issue alone is more than enough reason to dismiss losers from your life.
  8. Lowering my standards isn’t going to improve anything in my life. If anything, I’ve learned that lowering your standards is a lot like pouring petrol on a dumpster fire. It only makes an already awful situation worse.
  9. The bottom line is, I’m done wasting my time. I’m done trying to fix losers. I’m done putting in effort, time, and money into guys who would never do the same for me. Dating a loser is just not worth it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.