I Want To Find Love, But I’m No Longer Actively Looking For It

I Want To Find Love, But I’m No Longer Actively Looking For It

I’m single AF, but it doesn’t actually bother me. I’ve got a full and happy life — a great career, a wonderful group of friends and family and I’m truly comfortable with myself. I’m not against meeting a great guy, it’s just not necessarily a priority. I do want to find love eventually, but here’s why I’m not actively looking:

  1. My love life isn’t my whole life. I have other things going on — isn’t that how it should be? I enjoy my work, my hobbies and spending time with my friends and family, and I have goals and ambitions I’m working hard to achieve. I definitely want love and a family of my own someday, but just because I’m single right now doesn’t mean my life has no meaning.
  2. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. If we’re destined to be then we will be. Isn’t that what destiny, fate and the idea of “The One” is all about? That no matter what, you’ll end up together because you’re supposed to be? I believe that every person has a soulmate out there, myself included. If you’re my special person, we’ll find each other because it’s our destiny.
  3. I don’t go out to find a guy, but I still go out. It’s not like I’m sitting at home waiting for the Amazon delivery guy to be the man of my dreams. I’m going out and I’m having fun; I’m just not making the success of my night dependent on whether or not I land some guy’s phone number. I’m just there to have a good time and finding love would just be one hell of a bonus.
  4. Mr. Right should be looking for me too. The pressure shouldn’t be solely on my shoulders. People always want to know why women are single and why women haven’t found boyfriends, but why aren’t guys under the same pressure to settle down? It’s misogynistic BS and I won’t stand for it. If you’re my special someone, then you’d better be looking for me just as I am for you.
  5. If I never find love, I’ll be okay. Of course I want to find love, but sometimes it’s just not in the cards. I need to accept that before I can even think about being with someone. I want to be with someone because I truly want to be with him, not because I depend on him. I should want a guy, not need one, and that makes all the difference.
  6. It’s not my life’s mission to find love. My life can still have purpose without it. You can’t measure a woman’s worth by her relationship status. I want to find love in my lifetime — it’s definitely a goal and a priority, but it’s not my number one priority. I want my life to have greater purpose than just being some man’s wife. Is that so horrible?
  7. There’s nothing wrong with being single. I’m young and I’m enjoying life. I don’t believe anyone’s “biological clock” is ticking. I’ll find love when I’m good and ready for it. There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s no specific reason I’m single other than the fact that I just haven’t found the right person yet. I’m a single lady and you know what? I’m proud to be, because I’m holding out for the right guy.
  8. I love my life. Right now, I love my life just the way it is. If I find a really great guy, I’d be more than happy — until then, my life is still good. I have my girlfriends, my guy friends, my family and my work to keep me occupied. Just because I don’t have a guy doesn’t mean I can’t love my life. After all, if I’m not happy on my own, how could I ever expect to find a guy to make me happy?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.