I always thought I would meet the love of my life and everything else in our relationship would fall right into place. However, not only do I realize we’re not on the same page, but we’re not even in the same book. When the topic of marriage comes up, he always admits he isn’t ready to take the next step and I can’t help but feel crushed. What the hell do I do now?
- I Hope He’ll Change His Mind. I admit it — I desperately hope he’ll change his mind. I do everything I can to prove to him I’m wife material. I even go out of my way to spend more time with his family and friends. I’m trying to show him I can be there for him in ways that exceed the expectations of a girlfriend. I want him to snap out of it and see me as the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and there’s no limit to what I will do to try and change his mind.
- I’m Freaking Out at the Thought of Wasting My Time. I’m at the point where I’m having a complete meltdown. All sorts of crazy thoughts are running through my head. Is he just using me? Is he stringing me along until he finds the woman he really wants to be with? These thoughts lead to resentment sinking in, and I can’t help but lash out at him in unbelievable ways. It’s my own fears and insecurities creeping out, and I don’t know how to stop it from ruining what’s left of our relationship.
- It’s Hard Not to Feel Sorry for Myself. I know I can’t just walk around with resting bitch face and feeling like crap all the time. Even though we want different things and it hurts like hell on the inside, I can’t let it break me no matter how bad it sucks. I try not to feel sorry for myself, but it’s hard sometimes to remain happy and positive.
- I Have to Decide If Marriage Is Really Important to Me. I always dreamed of what it would be like to get engaged and I envision myself walking down the aisle in a beautiful white gown more times than I care to admit. Would I feel content with being in a committed relationship without actually getting married? Am I hoping marriage will fill some sort of void I have inside of myself? After I realized he isn’t ready to get married, these are the questions I have to honestly ask myself.
- I’ve Tried to Reason With Him. We have many long, drawn out conversations about our relationship and what marriage means to the both of us. I’ve done it all. I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded, and I’ve tried to come up with every positive reason why being married is much better than just cohabitating. But as I’ve tried to convince him to do something that he isn’t ready to do, I’ve only pushed him further and further away.
- I’m Weighing My Options. I knew walking away will hurt, but staying with him is just as painful. It’s hard not to assume he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. Trying to figure out if I should stick it out and be miserable or walk away from the one I love is the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make.
- I know I have to let Go of the Fantasy. I’ve stopped reading wedding blogs and browsing wedding dresses online. It’s too painful for me to hold on to the fantasy of getting married, especially since it doesn’t align with my reality. I hope that once I embrace my relationship for what it is, I can finally feel at peace.
- It’s tempting to just disappear for Awhile. I have to pack up and leave for a bit. I feel rejected by him and I just want to be alone. Removing myself from the situation will give me time to process all of my thoughts. It’ll also help me get prepared for what my next move will be in my relationship and in my life in general.
- I should put the Focus Back on Myself. I have to stop fixating on him, our relationship, and my constant thoughts about getting married. Instead, It’s time to put the focus back on myself. Working out, pampering myself, and immersing myself in my hobbies may be just what I need to not feel like complete crap.
- I’m going to Demand More Answers. I have so many questions, and as his partner, he owes me answers. I need to know if marriage is a possibility in the near future or if he just doesn’t see himself marrying me at all. I can’t go on living in limbo like this. It’s doing a number to my self-esteem, and this feeling of vulnerability kills me.