If He Wants You To Do These Things, He Doesn’t Want A Girlfriend — He Wants A Second Mom

You don’t need to waste your time dating a man-child. It’s great to be a nurturing and supportive girlfriend, but if these things are happening on a regular basis instead of every now and again, he sees you as a mother rather than a romantic partner.

  1. He asks you to do his laundry. You go over to his place to hang out, but then you find yourself doing his laundry or ironing his work shirts. What, can’t he do them himself or pay for them to get done? He might ask you to do them in a bashful, charming way, as though to make you feel needed, but it’s BS and you shouldn’t fall for it.
  2. He asks for cash to get him through the month. It’s fine to contribute financially to a relationship, such as by buying each other dinner, but it’s a different level if he’s asking for money because he’s broke, especially if it’s money to hit the clubs with his boys. What a loser.
  3. He asks if you can do his errands since you’re going out anyway. There’s nothing wrong with him asking if you can pick up his favorite dessert when you go grocery shopping, but if he’s giving you a list of errands he needs done every time you head to the shops, he’s treating you like you’re his mom.
  4. He wants you to text him when you’re out. When you’re out with your friends, he’s clingy AF. It’s like he wants you to be around him all the time, otherwise he can’t function. The worst is when you receive texts about things around the house, like, “How does the oven work?” OMG. Can he not fend for himself for a few hours?
  5. He wants you to dress him. He seems pretty clueless about fashion and expects you to choose his outfits for him every day by laying them on the bed for him so he doesn’t have to worry about what to wear to school — I mean work. Um, how old is this guy?
  6. He expects you to pick up after him. He might ask you to throw his socks in the laundry basket, or he might just leave things around and expect you to pick up after him. From dirty boxer shorts to empty pizza boxes, it’s like your job is to clean up after him.
  7. He asks you to help him  all the time. Whenever he needs some assistance with anything, he calls you. It’s great to have support in a relationship, but not if it feels like you have to do every little thing for this guy. And it’s even worse if he never supports you.
  8. He asks you to drop everything when he’s sick. He’s down with a bit of man flu and asks you to bring him some soup and OTC medicine. Um, you’re at work? Unless he’s got something really serious, you’re sure he can get up out of bed and go pick up something himself.
  9. He waits for you to tell him what to do. If you’re the one making all the decisions for him, then something is wrong. It’s like he’s lying on the sofa, waiting for your commands. It makes you feel like a tired mom having to tell his son to wash the dishes or answer the doorbell because you’re busy.
  10. He wants you to tell him what he wants to hear. This guy expects you to right over all his wrongs and boost his ego just like a devoted mom would, so if you have to constantly criticize him, beware. He’ll probably act like a child and throw a temper tantrum because he can’t get his way. What a jerk.
  11. He expects you to be the one to put him in his place. This is sometimes a subtle sign that he can’t think for himself and expects you to be like a mom to him. He might tell you that sometimes he can be a workaholic, or flirt too much with other women, or drink too much, or eat too much bad stuff, so you should tell him when to stop. Can’t he take responsibility for his actions? Doesn’t he know when he’s crossed a line? This is dodgy AF. Go out and get a real man.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.