I’d Way Rather Make Out With A Guy Than Sleep With Him—Yes, Really

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the simple times when I used to sit on park benches and make out with guys for hours at a time. In today’s world of one-night stands and quick hookups, spending time just kissing a dude for the sake of it seems like a distant dream, and that’s a shame. After all, making out is way better than sleeping with them.

  1. It saves us from a huge disappointment. There are a few ways to tell if a guy is good in bed. Being a good dancer is one and the other is making out. I’m too old to be messing around with men who don’t know what they’re doing. This is why I always love making out. I can tell within seconds whether or not we have chemistry. This saves me a ton of disappointment and time.
  2. It leaves us wanting more. Making out is a huge tease. It builds anticipation, just like the moments between hearing the doorbell ring and opening the box of a hot, cheesy pizza. Making out always stimulates my imagination and I walk around happily picturing what it would be like to sleep with the guy. It looks so good in my head that I get super excited and when it finally happens, it’s even better for it. Making out is the necessary build up for mind-blowing bedroom antics.
  3. It’s playful and innocent. Making out is a ton of fun. While it can be playful, little things like biting his lip or playing with his hair last for a minute at best during it. When you make out, you can spend a solid hour doing that. You can stop, walk away, then come back only to make him want you more. If you walk away from it, be sure that he’ll never call you back.
  4. It’s much less commitment. I love making out. I like intimacy too, but once I sleep with a guy, things necessarily get serious. I start stressing about when he’s going to text me back and what’s going to happen with us long-term. With making out, there’s no future expectation. If we run into each other again, it might happen; if we don’t, that’s okay. Either way, it’s not like I let myself be vulnerable with someone and am going to be freaking out about it forever.
  5. Making out is more sensual. While full on intimacy can definitely be sensual, there’s always this moment when we just focus on getting our respective sweet spots. This is the time when we stop caressing each other and getting freaky goes out the window. Making out, on the other hand, is like one long session, which is something we need more of.
  6. There’s no risk of infections. While many infections are easily curable if they’re diagnosed and treated, they’re still scary—and the worst part is that you could get them from anyone, including your boyfriend. Since making out doesn’t require taking my pants off and being in direct contact with someone else’s bits, I can indulge in it without the stress. It’s like eating sugar-free ice cream—healthy and enjoyable.
  7. It teaches patience. Sure, I’d like to rip his shirt off after half an hour of making out, but I know that this defeats the purpose. Making out teaches me to be patient and wait for the right moment to sleep with them. Being patient is super important in relationships and in life in general. It gives us time to get to know each other and create a more stable relationship.
  8. I never have to run for the morning-after pill. Pregnancy is basically my worst nightmare. At times, I’ve been so paranoid after it that I’ve taken the morning-after pill just in case. It really sucks. With making out, however, I never have to worry about whether the protection broke. I can live my life child and worry-free.
  9. It builds a stronger bond between us. While intimacy is a great way to connect with each other, we tend to jump into it too quickly. I feel shyer to ask a guy on a date than to have sleep with him after a 20-minute chat at the bar, to be honest. If I take the time to make out and talk to someone, I get to know him better. I might then choose to sleep with him or not, but I’ll have a better idea of what I really want. We’d have much fewer broken hearts around if we took the time to have a nice, long makeout sesh.
  10. We can do it anywhere and not be arrested for it. Although we might get the urge to have do it in public every now and then, that’s not a good idea. Making out, in contrast, we can do whenever we feel like. Sure, a few prudes might judge us for the PDA, but we won’t get a fine or go to jail.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.