Entitled people are experts at manipulating those around them with their “the world owes me” attitude. Recognizing their tactics is the first step toward protecting yourself from their self-serving behavior. Here’s a look at the subtle and not-so-subtle ways they’ll try to take advantage — and how you can stop them in their tracks.
1. They guilt-trip you to get their own way.
They’re masters at making YOU feel bad for saying no. Phrases like “I can’t believe you won’t help me!” or “I guess I’m not important to you” are designed to manipulate. Remember, your needs and boundaries matter too! Don’t let their emotional blackmail trick you into giving in against your better judgment.
2. They use the “everyone else does it” argument.
Why should they follow the rules when everyone else breaks them, right? They’ll try to normalize bad behavior to justify their demands. Don’t get dragged down! Hold firm to your principles, regardless of what others do. Your integrity isn’t up for negotiation just because someone else is too lazy to do the right thing.
3. Favors turn into life-long debts.
A small favor turns into an ever-growing obligation. Suddenly, you’re practically their unpaid servant! Set clear expectations upfront – “I can help you out this ONCE, but that’s it.” Don’t be afraid to put a timeframe or limit on your generosity to prevent it from spiraling out of control.
4. They’re helpless without you.
Suddenly they “forgot” how to book a hotel, or they “don’t understand” a simple task. It’s learned helplessness (sometimes known as weaponized incompetence) designed to make you do their work. Offer guidance if it’s genuine, but refuse to be their perpetual life crutch. A little tough love sometimes can help them discover their own capabilities (which they conveniently forget around you!).
5. It’s always “just this one time.”
They beg for an exception to a rule, promising it’s the last time. Don’t fall for it! One exception leads to another until suddenly there are no rules left for them to follow. Consistency is key to dealing with entitled folks. Be firm in your boundaries – those rules exist for a reason!
6. They’re always playing the victim when you call them out.
When called out, they flip it: YOU’RE the unreasonable one. Don’t get sucked into the drama. State your limits calmly and clearly, and refuse to engage if they try to make it about anything other than their entitled behavior. Don’t allow them to shift the blame, making you doubt your perfectly reasonable expectations.
7. “But I really NEED this!”
Urgency is their weapon. They need a last-minute favor, a sudden deadline shift – anything to pressure you. Don’t let their poor planning become your emergency. Remember, it’s okay to say “I’m unable to help with that right now.”. Their lack of foresight doesn’t automatically trump your right to manage your own schedule.
8. They turn up the charm to get what they want.
Suddenly, they’re your best friend when they need something. Flattery, excessive praise… all designed to butter you up. Enjoy the compliments, but don’t let them cloud your judgment about setting healthy boundaries. You can accept their friendliness without feeling obligated to bend over backward for them.
9. The play the comparison game.
“So-and-so would help me with this!” They drop not-so-subtle hints comparing you unfavorably to others. Don’t fall for it! Other people’s choices are irrelevant. Focus on what YOU are willing and able to do. Remind yourself that you’re not in competition with anyone else when it comes to setting your own boundaries.
10. They make a lot of last-minute demands.
They suddenly spring urgent requests on you, hoping to catch you off guard when you’re less likely to say no. If possible, push back: “I need more notice to help effectively” sends a message that you won’t be rushed. Don’t hesitate to ask for the time you need to consider their request properly.
11. Their attitude screams “I deserve special treatment.”
Rules, waiting their turn… these things just don’t apply to them! They expect preferential treatment and get annoyed when you won’t give it. Treat them like everyone else, no matter how much they whine or complain. The world doesn’t revolve around them, and it’s up to you to enforce that fact.
12. They downplay all the effort you put in.
You helped them out, but there’s zero gratitude, just criticism. It’s never good enough! Don’t internalize their negativity. Remind yourself of your efforts, and that their approval isn’t required for your own self-worth. Their constant dissatisfaction likely says more about them than anything you did wrong.
13. They exploit your fear of confrontation.
They know you hate confrontation. So, they’ll push boundaries, knowing you’ll likely avoid a fight. Don’t always take the path of least resistance! Sometimes, respectful but firm confrontation is necessary to preserve your well-being. Remember, avoiding conflict in the short term can sometimes just embolden them to push even harder later.
14. They love gaslighting you.
Did they really promise to repay you? They twist things to make you question your own memory. If possible, document agreements (even a quick text recap) to counter their attempts to rewrite history in their favor. Don’t let them shake your confidence in your own recollections – have the receipts to support your side.
15. “Just trust me!”
They ask for favors without offering explanations or details. It’s a shady ploy to get you onboard BEFORE you have all the info. Don’t be afraid to ask questions – “Can you tell me more about what this involves?” is your new best friend. Never commit to something blindly, especially when you get the sense they’re intentionally being vague.
16. They take, take take, but never give.
It’s always about their needs, but conveniently forget to return favors. This friendship feels like a one-way street. Consider whether the relationship is balanced, or if it’s time to reassess how much you invest in them. True friendship is a two-way street – don’t get stuck providing all the traffic with none coming back your way.
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