In a world full of men with overinflated egos, it may sound nice to date someone who doesn’t score so high on the confidence scale. We hate to break it to you, but a man with low self-esteem is just as bad and we have evidence. Ahead are 19 things a man will do in a relationship if he lacks self confidence.
1. He’s self-deprecating
Everyone loves a funny guy. When he shows that he doesn’t take life so seriously and can poke fun at himself, that’s attractive. But the other side of that is constantly putting yourself down, and not in a funny way. If he has low self-esteem, his audible self-criticism won’t be funny or light, it’ll feel mean and heavy.
2. He makes grand gestures
Because he views himself in not the most positive light, he might feel the need to overcompensate for the “bad” things he possesses. This can look like big gestures—like renting a limo to go on a date and showing up with chocolates and roses. At first, it might seem romantic but constant gestures like this are a red flag.
3. He can’t accept compliments
Who doesn’t love taking a compliment? Men with low self-esteem, that’s who. If you give your guy a compliment, he probably tries to downplay it or deflect the praise. He might even be super skeptical of the compliment and think that you’re just blowing smoke up his you know what.
4. He compares himself to others
The comparison trap isn’t fun. Unfortunately, the need to compare runs rampant when a man has a low sense of self-esteem. Whether he’s comparing himself to his friends, celebrities, or even your exes, this can cause tension in your relationship.
5. He has trust issues
It’s common for a man who is is struggling with his self-esteem to also struggle with trust. Because he has such a low opinion of himself, he’s constantly afraid tat he’ll get rejected or be betrayed. Little situations turn into big situations and before you know it, there’s a huge strain on your relationship.
6. He’s overly sensitive to feedback
You might be trying to give some constructive criticism, but the thing about men with low self-esteen is that they will take feedback (any kind) as a personal attack or a sign of rejection. This can lead to a lot of misunderstanding in the relationship and makes you more hesitant to share how you truly feel.
7. He gets possessive
His inner critic might tell him that the relationship is slipping away. However untrue that may be, it stems from his fear of being abandoned. That manifests as him becoming controlling or overly possessive in an attempt to hold on. It’s often masked by “care,” but being too controlling is never good.
8. He’s not good at setting boundaries
Is your man a “yes” man? If so, he might not be very good at setting boundaries. Maybe he’s so agreeable because he doesn’t want to upset you but this constant sacrifice of his own time and comfort does more harm than good. The truth: All healthy relationships need boundaries from both sides.
9. He projects his insecurities
Because he has lots of self doubts, he may wrongly assume that other people—namely, you—believe what he believes about himself. He’ll make unwarranted assumptions about your thoughts or feelings through the lens of his own insecurities. It’s not a good way to feel.
10. He has a negative outlook
No matter what it is, he can find fault in just about anything. If he leans towards the glass-half-empty perspective, it could be because of his low self-esteem. Inside he feels sad, hopeless, and hopeless, it makes sense that he’d project that same attitude on the outside.
11. He tries to make everything perfect
When he feels low about himself, he might try to find self-worth and confidence in his achievements. Maybe he tries to show up as the best version of himself at work and at home—it’s exhausting. He won’t let go because he feels as if it’s the only way he has control over how he perceives himself and how others view him.
12. He has a hard time making decisions
If he’s struggling with low confidence, then seemingly simple decisions may be extremely difficult for him. Whenever he’s posed with a problem or a question, he avoids making a decision because he’s so afraid he’ll choose the wrong option.
13. He avoids intimacy
When a guy lacks self-esteem, he might not want to get physical. He doesn’t feel good enough for you in almost every aspect—why would the bedroom be any different? He constantly wonders if he’ll measure up to your past partners or what you think about how he looks and it’s a big bummer.
14. He neglects his needs
Ever notice how your partner moves heaven and earth to accommodate you and make you happy, yet doesn’t take a moment to focus on himself? Yeah, that’s a byproduct of low self-esteem. While some may say this is how a partner should treat you, it’s important for your partner to be kind to themselves. They can’t continually pour from an empty cup, after all.
15. He over apologizes
Even if he’s done nothing wrong, he’ll still apologize. This is a symptom of his low self-esteem—he feels like he’s taking up too much space or asking for too much. because he feels he isn’t worthy of time, space, or attention the apologies will flow freely.
16. He needs constant validation
Whether that’s seeking attention outside of the relationship or asking you for validation over every little decision, his low confidence is the culprit. At first it feels nice that he values your opinion so heavily, but eventually it puts a lot of pressure on you to give him all of the acknowledgment he needs.
17. He’s overly critical
He’s extremely critical of himself which can turn into projection, meaning that he criticizes you or those around him. It’s likely because he’s trying to draw the attention away from his own flaws so he won’t be “found out.” It makes sense, but it’s toxic AF.
18. He avoids all confrontation
He thinks that if he speaks up and addresses the troubles or issues at hand, his partner will reject him. That’s why whenever you approach him about a concern he runs away (metaphorically but maybe also physically).
19. He gets jealous easily
As we said, he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough. He thinks one day you’re going to leave him for someone else. So those drinks you had with your male boss or the game night with your college friends raise a lot of suspicion for him. He’s overly concerned with every little interaction you have and it is not a good look.
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