If Your Wedding Day Is The Happiest Day Of Your Life, You’re Living The Wrong Way

Even before I tied the knot, I never really understood why my wedding day had to be the happiest moment of my entire life. Of course it was wonderful to say “I do” to the person I want to be with for the rest of my days, but it certainly wasn’t the pinnacle of my existence. It’s time to stop prolonging this popular myth and get real. Here’s why your wedding day isn’t going to be the best day of your life by a long shot:

  1. High expectations are destroying the whole thing. Your dream wedding is a goal too high to achieve, and it belongs in the realm of fantasy. The ridiculous expectation that you should feel ecstatic to the point of euphoria is just not realistic. High expectations, perfectionism, and wedding stress aren’t a recipe for happiness, but disillusionment.
  2. There’s just so much pressure to smile and look happy. Hours of smiling and thanking people profusely for attending and bringing gifts sounds more like part of a job description and not something you’d choose to do on a weekend. Moreover, the pressure to feel happy when you’re already stressed out about the whole thing makes you even less likely to enjoy the occasion — especially if there’s a wedding photographer stalking your every move.
  3. It isn’t empowering at all. The happiest moments in your life are the ones that you succeed on your own terms, as an individual. Your life’s dreams should be bigger than walking down the aisle in a white dress. This is also an important moment in life, but saying that it’s the best doesn’t do justice to your personal dreams and ambitions.
  4. Weddings are more a spectacle for others more than a special moment for you.  As a guest at somebody else’s wedding, you have the time of your life. There’s food, free booze, and the subject of  your love life is a great icebreaker between strangers. In other words, you’re a source of entertainment and gossip for others, which kinda diminishes the sacred moment between you and your partner.
  5. Let’s be honest, there’s something ridiculous about the dress. While the female guests are allowed to be creative with their choice of dress, you’re stuck with this white gown that screams “Look at me, I’m the bride.” It’s almost like you’ve been invited to a fancy dress party and you’re the only one that shows up in costume. There’s always a sense of embarrassment there, even if no bride would ever actually admit it.
  6. There are countless other imaginative ways to celebrate love. Love can make you happy in so many different ways. Traveling the world with your soulmate or your friends, starting a new project together, or simply sharing your life is far more important than throwing a party. In other words, the wedding isn’t important, but the real commitment between two people is.
  7. The cheesiness of the whole affair is often too much to take.  I feel like the whole idea of a wedding is getting cheesier by the day. The public declarations of love, the best man speeches, the weird wedding videos that are too mortifying to watch the next day — they’re all unnecessary. There are more and more couples that just don’t want to go down this path.
  8. On the big day you might wonder if that’s what you really want.  There’s a part of many wives-to-be that isn’t completely sure if they should go through with the wedding. We don’t live in the ’50s anymore, and unlike our grandmothers, we have a choice how to live our life. Having second thoughts is therefore not only a guys’ thing, but also something we women are likely to experience.
  9. There’s nothing spontaneous in weddings.  The happiest moments of our lives often come when we least expect them. Weddings are planned to the last detail, and that sucks the joy out of the experience. Happiness cannot be planned, it just happens when we’re relaxed and don’t overthink it.
  10. It’s not even among the most romantic moments of your life. Things like wedding planning quarrels, the insane amount of money spent on the party, or the bride’s crash diet to fit in the tiny white dress are all romance killers. By the time you reach the big day you’re more likely to just wish to be done with it rather than spend another minute thinking about it. If you want true romance, there are plenty of other moments in your life when you’ll find it.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.