While verbal communication is important, the unspoken messages we send to the people in our lives are just as important. Given that most guys aren’t all that into deep and meaningful conversations in the first place, it’s extra important to pay attention to their body language to determine where their head is at. Here are a few things you might be able to glean from your guy’s demeanor.
- He’s losing interest in you. You can’t make headway if a guy is losing interest in you and you’re oblivious, so stay alert. If he feels less comfortable he may appear more huddled up, slightly turned away, or looking down. Arms being crossed excessively indicates a more guarded demeanor. Whatever’s behind it, it doesn’t bode well.
- He’s flirting with you. If you’re into him, you won’t want to miss a beat, and if you’re not you’ll want to put him down lightly. When he’s first flirting to test the waters, he’ll probably make more eye contact and lean in when he speaks. To flirt right back, make sure to hold his gaze. If his lips seem moist or he presses them together, he’s anticipating your response, and a raise of the eyebrows means he likes what he sees. One thing that people generally do when paying attention to you is mirroring your movements. This might manifest as him subconsciously imitating your sitting position or repeating a hand gesture.
- His mood is easy to read. If you’re in a relationship or are good friends with a guy, there are things you can look out for to ease your interactions. If you notice he has clenched fists, rigid or tense movements, and tightly crossed arms or legs, he may be getting defensive. If he says he’s okay, he might not mean it. Something he heard could’ve touched a nerve, or he could be really moody. That’s a good time to tread lightly and figure out what’s up. Leaning back with his legs unfolded and slightly open amounts to confidence and relaxation, making him receptive to candid conversation.
- He’s attracted to you. Not sure if he’s into you? There are several subconscious tells to be on the lookout for. His nostrils will flare when he sees you, and he’ll make sure his chest is facing you. Even if he turns his head to talk to someone, his chest won’t stray from what’s important. Watch for signs of his mouth getting drier, which is a side effect of arousal. Also note any fidgeting, such as squeezing or rolling a glass in his hands, or fingering at his shirt. His desire to get closer to you may make his voice breathier and cause him to shift in his seat.
- He’s nervous around you or about something. He might need to talk about something but can’t, and if you can read him, you can probably prod it out of him. When he’s nervous, his hands will mess with his face or he’ll have an unusual itch. A lot of guys experience some stiffness and run their hands through their hair when they like someone but aren’t saying it. Watch to see if he gets more constrained and fidgety when you approach. It could help to politely ask him what’s on his mind, or just get him talking long enough to relax.
- He enjoys being around you. You can gauge the health of your relationship partly by figuring how contented your partner is. If he’s doing well, he might perch on the edge of his seat or touch his face while looking at you. Sometimes he’ll scoot closer, point his feet towards you, slightly tilt his head, or rest his head on his hand. He may be concerned with his posture, adopting an expansive or upright position. He may even move objects out of the way, clearing the space between you. These things all indicate that he values time spent with you.
- He’s paying attention to you. Obviously, you’ll want to know if he’s actually listening. Eye contact is certainly one thing, but anyone can do that without caring what you say. People tend to turn toward you and nod at regular intervals if they’re actually following along. His palms may be exposed and his arms relaxed. His legs will likely be uncrossed and loose, and leaning in or leaning back is acceptable. He might even slightly mouth the words you’re saying.
- He’s either bored, wants to leave, or is being defensive. Being human comes with myriad conscious and subconscious expressions and gestures. If he keeps his head down, he could be bored, while if his head is pointed upward it could be a sign of confidence. People often absentmindedly touch their neck when feeling stressed or stroke the chin and beard. If he turns his torso away from you often, it could mean he wants to leave or he’s getting defensive. Tightened or pursed lips, something many of us have been on the receiving end of, indicate distaste or distrust. Hands on the hips can mean readiness or a sense of control, and more rarely a sign of aggression.
- He’s cheating on you. Naturally, you want to sniff out the unfaithful. Oddly, cheating is associated with a person having more energy. Watch to see if your man puts more power into his strides and movements. He might smile or begin to laugh in serious situations, or needlessly rub his back and scratch his eyes. Sometimes inordinate preening or self-consciousness means he is trying to look good for his new love interest. And there’s the potential for withdrawn intimacy, such as kissing only on the cheek or affection limited to just pats on the back.