What It Feels Like When You’re Finally, Truly Over Your Ex

The aftermath of a breakup can take a while to clean up, even when you’re the one doing the dumping. Some days, you couldn’t be more over it, while others, you really feel the burn. But as you process the experience and take the lessons the relationship existed to teach you, you eventually come out the other side a stronger and happier person. Here’s what it feels like when you’re finally, truly over your ex and ready to move on with life.

  1. You’re blissfully ignorant of his existence. You suddenly realize that you haven’t thought about him the entire day and only did now because you saw his Instagram Story, which you quickly and easily scrolled past without a second thought. You have no idea what he’s up to on a daily basis and if you’re being honest, you really don’t care.
  2. Your decision-making skills improve. When you’re not over an ex, you still factor him into certain decisions, whether you mean to or not. It’s like your subconscious is hanging on to the possibility of a reunion. When he’s not on your mind anymore, you won’t consider how he would feel about you accepting a job that requires a lot of travel. You’re living for you, and it feels amazing.
  3. You stop saying that you’re over it. Those five-hour drunken conversations about how you’re so over your ex are cute and all, but they’re mostly just exposing your pain. When you’re actually over it, you don’t need to say it or prove it to anyone. Your everyday life is proof, and that’s the real win.
  4. Your focus comes back. Suddenly, you remember what it’s like to take care of business without a cloud of “what if?”s  following you around. You’re driven and on a mission to create the best possible life for yourself, and you know just how you’re going to get there.
  5. You’re sleeping like a normal person. You don’t even remember falling asleep last night because he’s not on your mind interrupting your ability to relax. When you’re actually over your ex, your head hits the pillow and it’s not long before you drift off into a peaceful sleep. It’s amazing how relaxed you are when you’re not in a bad relationship anymore!
  6. Your text anxiety is gone. In the midst of a breakup, every noise and vibration from your phone has the potential to be him saying he made a mistake. Not anymore! When your phone goes off, you know it’s either one of your BFFs hitting you up for a hangout session or better, a dating app match who wants to take you out.
  7. You understand why things happened the way they did. When you’re not over your ex, you can question the turnout a million times over, but once you move, on it makes perfect sense why things didn’t work out. You have the perspective to realize that splitting was for the best, and that’s such a gift.
  8. You stop thinking you see him everywhere. When you’re still hung up on your previous boyfriend, there’s a part of you that considers whether you’ll run into him at the grocery store one of these days, and some days you think every approaching guy is him. When he’s no longer living rent-free in your brain, that just doesn’t happen anymore.
  9. You can laugh about it. In the moment your post-breakup blues felt legit, but now you feel a little silly about how many hours you actually spent crying about it. You gain an amazing sense of humor when you’re over your ex that you didn’t have before, and you’re grateful for it.
  10. You stop comparing other guys to him. When you’re getting over someone, you might get back out there for the sake of it, but everyone will be a glaring reminder of what you’re missing. Eventually, someone better comes along, and the ex doesn’t even cross your mind. He’s his own guy and you’re excited to see where things go.
  11. You stop getting that punched gut feeling. You might not want to be best friends with your ex anymore, but running into him doesn’t threaten to physically knock you over. You’re able to see him and maybe even give him a friendly hello without it being a big thing.
  12. You actually feel happy about his successes. Be they personal or professional, you stop feeling irritated that you’re not involved in all the wonderful things occurring in his life and actually feel truly happy for him. After all, he was probably a decent dude, he just wasn’t the right one for you.
  13. You feel excited about new things. Wiping a slate clean always means there are opportunities for new things to come along, and at some point, those scary nerves turn into excitement. When you’re over your ex, the world is your oyster. You’re finally read to get out there and claim it.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com