What It Feels Like When You’re Finally Truly Over Your Ex

The aftermath of a breakup can take a while to clean up, even when you’re the one doing the dumping. Certain days you couldn’t be more over it, while others, you really feel the burn. But once you get past the “roller coaster of emotions” phase, and past the “pretending to be over someone that you totally aren’t over” phase, eventually you get over it. Here’s what it feels like when you’re finally, truly over your relationship and ready to move on with life.

You’re blissfully ignorant of his existence. You just realized that you haven’t thought about him the entire day and only did now because you saw his Facebook status… which you quickly and easily scrolled past without a second thought.

Your decision making improves. When you’re not over an ex, you still factor him into certain decisions, whether you mean to or not. When he’s not on your mind, you won’t consider how he would feel about you accepting a job that requires a lot of travel.

You stop saying that you’re over it. Those five hour drunken conversations about how over your ex you are are cute and all, but they’re mostly just exposing your pain. When you’re actually over it, you don’t need to say it or prove it to anyone.

Your focus comes back. Suddenly, you remember what it’s like to take care of business without a cloud of “what if”s following you around.

You’re sleeping like a normal person. You don’t even remember falling asleep last night, because he’s not on your mind interrupting your ability to relax.

Your text anxiety is gone. In the midst of a breakup, every noise and vibration from your phone has the potential to be him saying he made a mistake. Not anymore!

You understand why things happened the way they did. When you’re not over someone you can question the turnout a million times over, but once you move on it makes perfect sense why things didn’t work out.

You stop thinking you see him everywhere. When you’re not over him, there’s a part of you that considers whether you’ll run into him at the grocery store one of these days, and some days you think every approaching guy is him.

You can laugh about it. In the moment your post breakup blues felt legit, but now you feel a little silly about how many hours you actually spent crying about it.

You stop comparing other guys to him. When you’re getting over someone you might get back out there but everyone will be a glaring reminder of what you’re missing. Eventually someone better comes along, and the ex doesn’t even cross your mind.

You stop getting that punched gut feeling. You might not want to be best friends with him, but running into him doesn’t threaten to physically knock you over anymore.

You actually feel happy for his successes. Be they personal or professional, you stop feeling irritated that you’re not involved in all the wonderful things occurring in his life and actually feel truly happy for him.

You feel excited about new things. Wiping a slate clean always means there are opportunities for new things to come along, and at some point those scary nerves turn into excitement.

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