What It’s Like Being Single When Everyone Else Is In A Relationship

When you’re the only single one while everyone else is in a relationship, you’ll come across misconceptions about how you spend your time and your overall lifestyle. It can be difficult for opposing sides to understand each other, so this is what it’s truly like living the single life while surrounded by couples.

  1. You’re treated differently. When you’re single, you automatically get treated differently. Your advice about relationships isn’t as important as other people who are in a relationship, even if you’ve managed to avoid toxic relationships and have a lot of good advice to give. Your schedule won’t seem as important as someone else’s who has to deal with their own family as well as their partner’s and if you’re booking time off, expect your holiday to be bumped for the person who must attend their husband’s third cousin’s friend’s niece’s wedding at an exotic location.
  2. Everybody thinks you have more time. Because you don’t have to deal with another person and/or their entire family and friends, people will assume you have more time for them and more time for anything really. The fact is you have less time because you have to do everything yourself. There’s no one to share errands with, no one to help organize anything, and no one to comfort you in times of need. When you’re single while everyone else is in a relationship, it’s up to you to do everything and spend countless hours getting stuff done.
  3. You’re forever the third wheel. Some couples rarely do things apart so when one person in a couple invites you somewhere, you already know it will involve the other person in that relationship. This can be wonderful when you all get along, but get used to feeling like the child who’s being looked after when you’re sitting in the back seat of their car. Sometimes this is nice when you’ve been busy all week driving yourself around and forget what it’s like to simply be a passenger. However, you’ll get over it pretty quickly when you don’t have control over the music and air con settings.
  4. You judge yourself more than other people do. I’m not saying people don’t judge single people because they definitely do, but the person who will end up judging you the most for your relationship status is yourself. The reality is you will think about your singledom more than other people do and wonder how it looks to people, what they think, and if there will come a time when you won’t be single anymore. Everybody is always more concerned about themselves and although they may judge you, they’re busy judging themselves too about whatever it is they’re struggling with.
  5. People expect to live vicariously through you. When you’re the only single one, everybody else wants to live vicariously through you. They want to know how dating apps work while always saying, “It sounds awful! I can’t even imagine using them! I wouldn’t even know how to!” Gee, thanks. And trust me, in the world of rapidly advancing technology, they’ll quickly figure out what to do with an app. People in relationships always want to hear about your dating stories as though your single life is happening for their entertainment. This is not okay, so put your foot down and tell people that your single life is not a television show for them to watch.
  1. You get the worst room in shared accommodation. Going on vacations with friends who are all in relationships will leave you in a worse-off situation in a holiday house even though you’ve paid the same amount. Crappy bunk bed versus queen bed with en-suite? You’ll never see the larger room with the balcony because you’ll get shafted to the small room with no window as it fits a single bed and you’re the only one there who will fit in a single bed because as it will be pointed out to you, you are single.
  2. People won’t understand when you tell them you’re not dating. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to date but people won’t understand that. They’re in a relationship so why aren’t you trying to be in a relationship too? It is the ultimate end goal and is something they’re pushing you to achieve, so much so you’ll be overwhelmed by all their unwanted advice. They met their partner randomly walking down a street so you should walk down the same street. They met their partner on a dating app so you should put up a similar profile and go on as many dates as they did before they found “the one” (four in the same week). They met through a friend of a friend, so they’ll ask their friend if they have any more friends for you to meet casually (but very set up).
  3. Everything is more expensive. You thought being on your own would mean a lower cost of utilities but it’s still very expensive when there’s no one to share the bill with. Travel, day-to-day life, and anything where a single woman can be taken advantage of (I’m looking at you mechanics) will cost more. Sometimes people will literally stay in bad relationships because it’s one of the only ways they’ll be able to survive the rising cost of living.
  4. You’re fiercely independent out of necessity rather than wanting to be. The people in relationships will praise you for doing everything on your own but the reason you’re doing it on your own is that there’s literally no one physically there with you to help you. You’ve got to stand your ground on your own otherwise you’ll get nothing done and while it will be seen as fiercely independent, it’s really just survival mode.
  5. You think you’re the only one that’s lonely. It’s easy to think you’re lonely because you’re not in a relationship, but there are plenty of people in relationships who feel alone. This is very easy to forget when you see couples everywhere; holding hands, holding each other’s things when one of them goes to the bathroom, going home to each other, and sharing a bed. It’s always surprising to know someone who has a person around them most of the time could even feel lonely, but it happens. People will assume you’re more lonely than other people because you’re single but delve a little deeper and it will be discovered, a lot of people are looking for more meaningful connections with themselves and other people.
Cynthia likes to share stories and advice via writing and podcasting, especially when it comes to society's overbearing standards in regards to specific timelines and goals for women i.e. get married, have kids, blah blah blah...shut up.