You don’t have to sleep with a guy to learn more about him — a single kiss can have the same effect. In fact, one of the things you’ll learn is whether or not having sex with him would even be worth it. After all, a lot of the techniques used during a first kiss are used in the bedroom. So the next time you end up making out with someone, pay close attention — his lips will tell you a lot.
- If you have chemistry You can’t put chemistry into words. It’s something that you’ll just know when you experience it firsthand. If there aren’t any sparks the first time that you two lock lips, then that probably isn’t going to change. Chemistry would be there from the start. Kissing a guy is a great way to gauge just how intense your chemistry is.
- If he’ll be an expert at foreplay Does he take his time going in for the kiss, or does he just shove his tongue right down your throat? If he’s too eager from the start, it’s a bad sign. It means he doesn’t know the importance of being patient, which is a must when it comes to foreplay. That means he’s probably not going to be a stud in the bedroom.
- How confident he is Kissing a guy who’s self-assured is a totally different experience than locking lips with one who’s insecure. Does he fidget with his keys for 20 minutes before he leans toward you, or does he go in for the kiss with his head held high? A man with confidence is a man who knows what he’s doing. Of course, there’s something sweet about self-conscious men, so either way, you’re a winner.
- If he takes care of himself Does his breath taste like peppermint gum or cigarettes? If he had any plans to kiss you, then he should’ve brushed and flossed his teeth beforehand. If he didn’t bother to prepare for that first kiss, then he definitely won’t use mouthwash for any future kisses.
- If he’s a good listener Does he tilt his head left when you tilt right? Does he open his mouth when you run your tongue over his lips? If he picks up on all of your clues, it’s a good sign. It means he actually pays attention to your needs. Kissing a guy who uses his whole body to absorb and respond to the things you’re trying to tell him is a game-changer.
- How he feels about you If he’s kissing you, it’s pretty clear he likes you. Just pay attention to how he acts after the smooch. If he scampers away, he probably views the kiss as a mistake. If he tries to kiss you on a lower part of the body, he probably wants to sleep with you.
- How laid-back he is If you bump teeth, does he freak out or laugh it off? You want to be with someone with a good sense of humor, so it’s always a good sign if he’s able to make fun of himself, even during an intimate moment. It’s supposed to be an enjoyable experience, so if he’s stressing about it or awkward in any way, that’s going to be a problem.
- How good he is with his hands His lips aren’t the only thing you should be paying attention to. What he does with his hands can be just as telling. If he knows the right places to caress you from the start, he’s going to be amazing once you enter the bedroom.
- If he’s serious about you The actual kiss isn’t everything. Sometimes the location and timing of the kiss can tell you more about him. Did he take you out on a fancy date before he tried to smooch you or did he just get you alone in a bathroom at a party? If it’s the latter, you’re probably just a hookup. Kissing a guy can tell you a lot about his long-term hopes for your relationship, if any.
- If you’re serious about him Did that kiss leave you wanting more or have you already had enough of him? Kissing a man is a quick way to figure out if you really like a guy or if you’re ready to find someone else to kiss. It’s also a great way to determine if the chemistry you have personality-wise carries over to physical intimacy. If you love chatting to him but the kiss just feels off, you know he’s not the right one for you.
How to make kissing a guy an even better experience
As much as you want to analyze his ever moves to figure out where he stands, you don’t want to get so caught up in your own head that you don’t actually enjoy the experience. Otherwise, you’ll be seriously missing out.
- Prioritize kissing. So many people see kissing as just a pitstop on the way to having actual sex, but it shouldn’t be this way for the guy or for you. Having a great kiss contributes so much to the overall health of a long-term relationship. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that couples who kissed less frequently reported lower sexual and general relationship satisfaction. In other words, time to get smooching!
- Get out of your head and focus on the guy you’re locking lips with. Instead of trying to put a bunch of tips and techniques you’ve read about into practice, get those things out of your head and instead zone in to the person with whom you’re exchanging saliva. “The No. 1 most important trait of being a better kisser is paying attention to your partner’s response,” says sex and intimacy coach Leah Carey. “Too often we learn a ‘technique’ and become completely dedicated to that way of doing things.”
- If you’re unsure, ask. If you feel like you could be doing something better while kissing this guy or there’s something on his mind that he’d like you to be doing that you’re not, ask him. “It’s so obvious, but many people are scared to ask their partner what they like because they think it will make them look foolish. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite!” Carey explains. “Your partner may be sitting on a few things they want to tell you but don’t know how to bring it up.”
- Try not to worry too much. At the end of the day, kissing is something we do to show we’re attracted to a guy, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of intimacy. “To be fair, kissing is weird. There’s no clear explanation of how or why kissing started, why we stick our mouths together, and why that’s desirable,” says Chamin Ajjan, licensed clinical social worker, cognitive behavioral therapist, certified sex therapist, and author of Seeking Soulmate: Ditch the Dating Game and Find Real Connection. “Often we’re thinking, ‘Am I doing this right? Are they enjoying it? Does my breath stink?’ But if you’re able to shift focus to your partner, kissing becomes a mindful activity where you’re tuning into your senses and theirs, which can make the moment more fun and satisfying.”