When Is It Okay To Poop At A Guy’s House?

In the beginning of a new relationship, women fear one thing above all else: having to poop when with the guys we’re seeing. Do you stick it out until you can reach your own bathroom? Do you go but turn on the sink? There’s no right answer to the question, but there are a few signs that it might be okay to drop the kids off at the pool at your guy’s house:

  1. You Started Out As Friends. Magazines and our mothers advise us to marry a man who is our best friend, and while that’s generally a good practice, I wonder if by dating your best friend, you get to skip out on normally awkward or embarrassing situations. Certainly, a boyfriend who’s also your best friend would understand that when you have to go, you have to go. How close you are not only as a couple but as friends could either increase or decrease the time on the poop clock.
  2. You’re 100 percent comfortable around him. I think it is safe to say that we’ve all dated guys who’ve made us feel either insecure or like we need to have our acts together at all times—I know I have. When you’re dating someone who makes you feel comfortable, everything should become easier. If he makes you comfortable about it, then why not go for it?
  3. You’re actually not uptight about that crap (pun intended). Although I’ve had poop conversations with my boyfriend, I don’t believe I’m a woman who’s comfortable detailing my experience in the bathroom or doing my business in front of him. I believe in keeping some romance in a relationship, no matter how long we’ve been dating. However, if you’re more laid-back about the fact that everybody poops, go for it.
  4. He talks about it. Let’s be honest—guys can be disgusting. I’ve been party to plenty of conversations that were overly TMI. I grew up with two older brothers, for God’s sake—I’ve heard some R-rated stuff. Typically, potty humor is pretty much embedded in the DNA of a guy, so if he talks about pooping in front of you, maybe he won’t mind you returning the favor.
  5. He Gives You The Green Light. Before you decide that you are going to poop at his place, you could have a sit-down conversation. All good relationships stem from solid communication, so I don’t see why that doesn’t apply to bathroom issues. Let him know beforehand that you’re deciding to go at his place before he finds out himself. If he’s like, “Yeah, whatever, do it!” (which is really what he should say), you’re good to go. Literally.
  6. There’s A Bathroom Emergency. As humiliating as it is, sometimes there’s no time to spare when nature calls. In this situation, you have no other choice than to drop trou and get down to business. Maybe you ate something that didn’t agree with you or you can’t play it cool and hold it in anymore. Either way, hiding it isn’t an option anymore.
  7. You’ve been through more serious things. Maybe you’ve gotten your period during sex or peed yourself while laughing too hard. Either way, you’ve been through poop-level issues and then some, so taking a crap at his house shouldn’t really be a big deal.
  8. He Does It In Front Of You. Although I can’t think of anything more horrifying than seeing your boyfriend poop, this may open the door for it to be okay for you. This lets you know that he doesn’t think bodily functions are a big deal, so you shouldn’t either. Of course, you might want to close the door when it’s your turn.
I have been dating for years and unfortunately kids, I am still confused. I am hoping that my personal experiences help readers out of a difficult relationship ditch, form smiles and endorse laughs. I'd like to be a woman for all woman, we are all in this together. xo