Why A Guy Who’s Hot And Cold Isn’t Worth Your Time

When you first start talking to someone, it can take a bit of time to figure out how you feel about them. Not every connection is love at first sight, and you can’t be expected to go all-in on someone (or vice versa) before you really get to know each other. However, if you’ve been dating a guy for a few weeks or even a few months now and he’s still hot and cold with you, it’s clear he’s really not worth your time or energy. Here’s why you have to walk away from a guy like this.

  1. He doesn’t know what he wants. If he’s all over you one day and goes MIA the next, it’s clear that he really has no idea what he wants. A guy who’s certain about a) his feelings about you and b) what he wants from love and relationships would never play you hot and cold. He’d make sure you knew where you stood with him at all times because he cares about you and wants you in his life.
  2. He has no respect for you. This is so important to realize and accept. A guy whose behavior is hot and cold is one who doesn’t respect you enough to treat you with consistency, courtesy, and care. He obviously doesn’t believe you deserve those things from him, so he completely disregards your feelings and desires to do whatever the hell he feels like doing. This is not the kind of guy you want in your life.
  3. He doesn’t like you enough. Even if he does kinda sorta like you, it’s not enough to keep him from being all over the place with his behavior with you. It’s no good for him to spend all weekend having sex with you, eating takeout on the couch, and talking about future plans, only to ghost you Monday through Friday as if you mean nothing at all to him. You want a guy who likes you all the time, not just some of the time, and the hot and cold guy ain’t it.
  4. You’ll never be able to rely on him. If he can’t be consistent at this point in your relationship with how he treats you, how would he be if you did actually decide to make a go of a real relationship? I shudder to think. The guy who’s hot and cold will never be there for you when you need him and he’ll flake that the worst possible times because he’s incapable of being dependable. That’s not what you want, is it?
  5. You deserve stability. At the end of the day, you deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who knows what he wants and treats you like you matter. You shouldn’t have to wake up every day wondering where you stand with him or whether or not he’s going to be distant and uninterested or engaged and totally into you. Leave the guy who’s hot and cold on the curb and move on to something better.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia