Why “Chill” People Can Be The Most Stressful To Be Around

Why “Chill” People Can Be The Most Stressful To Be Around

We all have that super chill friend – the one who seemingly never gets flustered and always has a laid-back vibe. But while their calmness can be seen as a good thing, sometimes their ultra-relaxed attitude can actually be more stressful than dealing with a high-strung person. Here’s why:

1. They’re masters of procrastination.

When you’re scrambling to meet a deadline, their laid-back approach can be infuriating. You might even end up doing their work just to get things done on time. Their procrastination becomes your problem, and let’s be honest, nobody wants to clean up someone else’s mess.

2. Their lack of urgency is contagious (in a bad way).

Their “it’ll all work out” attitude can seep into your mindset, making you put stuff off or miss important details. Before you know it, you’re adopting their chill vibe and the project ends up in the dumpster fire zone. They’re a very bad influence and it ends up causing more stress in your life.

3. They struggle with accountability.

When things inevitably do go wrong, it’s tough to hold them responsible. They often deflect with a casual, “Oops, my bad.” And just like that, you’re left holding the bag while they breeze on to their next carefree moment. Sure, you don’t need them to grovel at your feet, but it’d be nice if they actually learned from their mistakes and did something about them!

4. Their calmness can feel dismissive.

When you’re genuinely stressed and they tell you to “just chill,” it feels like they aren’t taking your feelings seriously. It’s the equivalent of putting a band-aid on a broken leg – it doesn’t help, and it’s kind of insulting. Never in the history of the world has telling someone to “just forget about it “or “calm down” been effective. Never!

5. They make you question your own sanity.

Are you being too uptight? Should you just relax? Their chill attitude can make you doubt your own instincts and feel like the problem is you. But remember, feeling stressed about legitimate problems is completely normal! In fact, it’s them that’s weird in this regard.

6. Their “go with the flow” approach can lead to chaos.

While a little spontaneity is great, too much can cause major headaches for everyone involved. Lack of planning can lead to serious problems. Suddenly, you’re not just late for a meeting, you’re stranded on the side of the road because they never checked the gas tank.

7. It’s hard to collaborate effectively.

Their laid-back style can seriously clash with people who prefer structure. This can lead to miscommunication and frustration on both sides. Imagine trying to build a house with someone who thinks blueprints are “too restrictive.” You have to plan and you have to work together. No one wants to feel like they’re the only one doing their part.

8. You end up carrying the emotional weight.

serious man looking off to the right

Their ability to switch off means you’re often left worrying alone. This can be emotionally draining in the long run. It’s like being their unpaid therapist but without the fancy degree and comfortable chair.

9. Their optimism can border on unrealistic.

Ignoring potential problems isn’t always a good thing. Their constant positivity can leave you feeling underprepared when things go wrong. Hope is great, but sometimes you also need a plan B (and maybe even a plan C). Practicality needs to kick in at some point, but they don’t see it that way.

10. They may lack a sense of ambition.

This can be demotivating if you thrive on goals. Their contentment with the status quo can make your own drive feel pointless. It’s hard to stay motivated when your teammate’s biggest goal is finding the perfect nap spot. That’s not to say that everyone has to be dreaming big all the time, but if you do, you need to be surrounded with people who uplift and encourage you.

11. Their chillness can mask a lack of caring.

hip woman in pink hoodie upsetiStock

Sometimes, being laid-back isn’t about inner peace, it’s about not caring enough. This can be hurtful to discover. You want a friend who has your back, not someone who couldn’t care less if you succeed or fail.

12. It creates an imbalance in the relationship.

You start to feel like the only one pushing and planning. This can lead to resentment over time. Friendships are a two-way street, and always being the responsible one gets old fast. Again, you shouldn’t have to be the only one keeping things going all the time. It’s exhausting, unfair, and a surefire recipe for disaster.

13. You start to doubt their dependability.

smiling woman with coffee at cafe bariStock/GaudiLab

Can you really count on them when things get tough, or will they just shrug it off? Knowing you have someone in your corner is crucial, especially during difficult times. If you’re not sure if they’d show up when the chips were down, you can’t rely on them.

14. Their “whatever” attitude can stifle progress.

If they don’t care about outcomes, it’s hard to make any decisions or move forward as a team. It’s frustrating to put in effort when your partner in crime would rather watch paint dry.

15. Ultimately, it’s about finding balance.

A little chillness is healthy, but too much can be just as problematic as too much stress. It’s important to find friends who bring balance to your life. We all need the friend who reminds us to slow down sometimes, but also the friend who’s got a firecracker ready to light when we need a kick in the pants.

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Josh grew up in Connecticut and thought he could never be happier away from big bodies of water until he moved to Minneapolis and fell in love with it. He writes full-time, with his lifestyle content being published in the likes of Men's Health, Business Insider, and many more. When he's not writing, he likes running (but not enough to train for a marathon even though his buddy won't stop asking him).
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