You’ve finally gotten to the point where the thought of him no longer knocks the air out of your lungs and force tears to your eyes. You’ve found the courage to unfollow him on social media and delete his pictures from your cloud. Maybe you’ve even started dating again. Then, surprise, surprise! Your ex hits you up out of the blue and tries to wriggle his way back into your life. Before you decide whether to take him back or keep him locked out forever, here are some reasons that could be fueling his return.
- He tried dating other people and realized what a catch you are. It’s starting to dawn on him that the grass isn’t really greener on that other side. He’s questioning whether he made the right decision ending things or not fighting harder for you. He’s finally seeing that he already had what he’s spent the last few months looking for and now he wants you back.
- He’s lonely and desperate. Your ex might be hitting you up with those “I miss you” texts just because the single life isn’t treating him well. He doesn’t actually miss you, he only misses being partnered up. He just wants someone to talk to, laugh with, and share his struggles. He wants to feel attached and loved by literally anyone, and if crawling back to you helps him achieve that, so be it.
- You’re his backup plan. Some guys keep women on hold in case things don’t work out with the person they actually want. So it could be that after you guys broke up, your ex went for it with the other woman, but that relationship blew up in his face. Now he’s back for the next best thing—you. He doesn’t think you’re “The One” but he likes you enough to settle for you.
- He wants to see if he still has a hold over you. Sometimes, guys come back when they feel you’ve moved on to test if they can still get you to come running back. They just enjoy having that control over your emotions and seeing how much they can still manipulate your feelings. He doesn’t really want you, he just wants to confirm whether you’ll still dance to his tune. Don’t give him that satisfaction.
- Distance has made you more attractive to him. You know how they say over-familiarity breeds contempt and distance makes the heart grow fonder? Well, that principle applies here. When your ex sees you giving him space and cutting him out of your life completely, that can rekindle his attraction for you. Your glow up and confidence post-breakup can mess with his head and make him want to feel needed by you again.
- He’s looking for something familiar. Maybe he’s not getting attention from other people right now and he misses being with someone who cared about him. Someone who he could bare his soul to without judgment, who already knows his flaws and loves him for them anyway. He knows what to expect with you, unlike the dating world where everything is new and foreign and he has to learn everything about potential partners from scratch.
- He’s jealous to see you moving on. When a guy realizes that you’re no longer waiting for him to come back, but are out there living your best life, that can make him jealous. Seeing you dating someone else is killing him, not because he wants you back, but because he can’t bear the thought of losing what used to be his to someone else. So he’ll waltz back into your life to get the scoop on your current relationship status and throw in a little chaos.
- He’s horny and you’re the only one who can scratch that itch. He still remembers how great sex with you feels and he misses that passion more than anything. He’s tried to get it on with other people, but they just don’t feel as connected to him sexually as you do. So now he’s aching to get down with you again and relive that wonderful experience again, and he’s hoping you’ve still got the hots for him too.
- He’s still in love with you and regrets the breakup. There’s a chance that he still has strong feelings about you and never really stopped loving you. Maybe he’s been hurting for a while now and doing his best to stay away from you, but he just can’t help it anymore. Since the break-up, he’s had time to think about what happened and he wishes he’d never let someone as good as you go. He realizes all the things he didn’t do right and now he just wants another chance to make up for it all.