Why Do So Many Guys Label Women “Crazy” When We Show Emotion?

It took a long time to get to this place, but you finally feel comfortable enough to show emotion in front of your boyfriend. Maybe you shed a few tears or express your opinions in a passionate manner and the next thing you know he’s calling you crazy. What the hell is that all about? Here are some reasons why he’s doing that. (Disclaimer: Unless you’ve done something really crazy, like run into the road or smash your wineglass at dinner, there’s no excuse for him putting the crazy label on you.)

  1. He doesn’t respect you. You thought he really cared about you but when he sees you getting worked up or crying, he calls you “crazy.” Woah, what? Clearly this guy doesn’t respect your feelings so there’s no way he can be into you.
  2. He doesn’t want anything serious. He might like you, but he’s not really into you because if he was, he wouldn’t brush off your feelings and insult you like that. He’d be invested in you and care about what you’re going through. No one who truly cares about another person could see them upset and brush them off so hastily.
  3. He’s an a-hole. Seriously, a guy who calls you crazy when you show emotion is a jerk who wants to bring you down. He might even be a sociopath because he scores next to nothing on the empathy scale. Ugh. You shouldn’t even treat a stranger like that, let alone someone you’re in a relationship with.
  4. He only wants you around for the good days. If he’s only interested in casually dating you, he’s going to want to keep things fun and upbeat. How freaking convenient. The minute you show some emotion, the guy’s ready to bounce. He’s the honeymoon phase guy who never wants anything real. He wants to live in a fantasy world.
  5. He’s dumping the blame on you. If you’re showing emotion because you’re hurt by something he did to you, it’s really unfair for him to call you crazy. It’s a manipulative way for him to blame you and shirk his responsibility. This not only makes him a terrible partner but an emotionally stunted one as well.
  6. He’s trying to piss you off. The most malicious guy is one who will tell you you’re being crazy when you’re emotional because he knows it’ll just make you angry. He could be trying to push you away. Well, guess what, a-hole – it’s working.
  7. He’s trying to win. He might want to win the argument you’re currently embroiled in so he thinks by making you the bad guy, he’ll be able to win. Calling you crazy in the heat of the moment can also be a way for him to distract you from what you’re upset about. But guess what? It doesn’t make him win. It makes him a loser.
  8. He’s trying to control you. Being called crazy when you’re expressing emotion is not normal or cool. Be wary of the guy who’s doing this because he could be trying to control you. He’s essentially trying to make you react to situations in a different way. What next? He tries to turn you into a robot?
  9. He doesn’t like your strong opinions. If you’re passionate about your opinions, he should respect and love that. But no. A guy who doesn’t appreciate you will try to make it seem like it’s a bad thing. Maybe he doesn’t want to have a partner who expresses herself and says what’s on her mind. In that case, see ya!
  10. He hates drama. This might seem strange, but a guy who calls you crazy could try to write it off as meaning that he can’t handle drama. Um, there’s a difference between showing emotion and being dramatic, and if he can’t tell the difference that’s his problem, not yours.
  11. He’s not used to seeing you like this. You were biting down your true feelings for weeks and months. Now that you’re finally expressing what you really think about something, he’s shocked so he calls you crazy. Just because he’s not used to seeing this side to you, he shouldn’t try to shut it down. What, did he think you’d be super-happy all the time? That nothing would ever bother you? He needs to grow up.
  12. He’s actually the crazy one. Usually, when guys resort to calling you crazy, like when you cry during a fight because their words have hurt you, they might say that you’re acting crazy because they’re actually the crazy ones but they just don’t see it. Yup, it’s true.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.