12 Signs You Really Are Out Of His League

You start talking to a guy via Tinder/OkCupid/whatever and everything seems great. He’s polite, attractive, and funny—seems like the total package. He asks you out to coffee and you spend hours prepping for the date, wanting to make a bomb first impression. Meanwhile, he shows up looking sloppy as hell and talks about his ex’s for roughly 23 solid minutes without asking you a single question about yourself. You’re obviously out of his league in this case, but sometimes the signs are much more subtle.

  1. He doesn’t challenge you intellectually. If you’re talking about places that you’d like to visit someday and you mention Turkey, does he look confused and then matter-of-factly declare that he prefers ham? He doesn’t have to be an engineer for NASA but if talking to him leaves you feeling exhausted, you’re better off not bothering.
  2. He still lives with his parents and likes it that way. While many people go through transitional periods where it’s financially beneficial for them to live with their parents, long-term leeching off of the ‘rents (with no real plans of ever leaving the nest) is never attractive. It’s time to fly the coop, little birdie.
  3. His maturity level doesn’t quite match yours. For Christ’s sake, he still says, “Ew, gross!” any time a Tampax commercial comes on and only responds to direct questions with memes and reaction gifs. To say that his maturity level was just reaching that of a pimply-faced teenager would be an understatement. Next!
  4. He has no plans for his future besides leveling up his character in World of Warcraft. There’s nothing wrong with blowing off some steam and playing video games, but if he’d rather double his XP points in a fictional game every day than help to create a future for the two of you, you might be out of his league.
  5. He wouldn’t know fine dining if it slapped him in the face with a Big Mac. You’re trying to be wined and dined and yet the adult child you’re dating won’t get much fancier than Applebee’s. Better get used to that 2 for $20 menu if you plan on sticking with him—and get the server to bring him some crayons while you’re at it.
  6. You’re always paying for his stuff and he never returns the favor. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spoil your partner, but there’s a huge difference between buying your man gifts and having him completely depend on you financially for everything from food to rent to clothes. You’re not his mother and shouldn’t be treated as such!
  7. He has unrealistic goals and doesn’t take any steps to actually achieve them. Every dude wants to be a rock star or a pro athlete, but very few realize the amount of perseverance, drive, and talent one has to possess to actually accomplish it. If he’s still California-dreaming about playing guitar in front of an arena of screaming babes but can only muster up the creativity to post a poorly recorded cell phone video of a memorized Metallica riff and some sporadically hammered-out power chords, odds are, it ain’t happening.
  8. He’s insecure and uncomfortable in his own skin. You’ve gone to great lengths to be comfortable with yourself and proud of your life and yet he can’t even take a selfie with you without saying, “Don’t post it, I hate how I look.” Every. Single. Time.
  9. He’s clingy AF. While you’re at work getting your hustle on, he’s blowing up your phone trying to make sure you’re not talking to other dudes or wanting to leave him for someone else. If he keeps that stuff up, you probably should. The guiltiest of consciences are always the first ones to point to finger.
  10. He talks negatively about all of his ex-girlfriends. If he tells you about how “crazy” all of his exes are, he either a) makes really bad judgment calls and only dates really troubled women or b) HE’S the crazy one. Ninety-five percent of the time, it’s the latter—especially if he can’t admit that maybe, just maybe, he messed up a little bit in the relationship too.
  11. He can dish it out but he can’t take it. A little light roasting never hurt anyone, and he loves to joke around with you and even pick on you a little bit. Yet as soon as you make a tiny jab back, he gets butt hurt. Someone come get Sensitive Sally, please.
  12. Your personal hygiene is miles ahead of his. If he’s completely unkempt and smells like a dumpster, run in the opposite direction (and to the nearest hand sanitizer) and remind yourself that you’re definitely out of his league.
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