Why Finding Love Is So Much Harder For Strong Women 

It’s hard to believe that the process of finding love can be even worse for strong women than it is in general for everyone else, but it’s true. Strong women know we don’t need a partner to feel complete. We can take care of ourselves emotionally and financially, and while those are typically good characteristics, they can make finding love feel next to impossible. Here’s why strong women in particular really struggle when it comes to love.

  1. We Have High Standards. Strong women are strong-willed. We know what We want and aren’t afraid to go after it. While this quality can help us succeed in some situations, it can have the opposite effect on love. Knowing exactly what We want (or rather, thinking we know) can cause us to miss out on things that might be good for us. For instance, maybe we want someone with a high-paying job but end up meeting someone who treats us well and makes minimum wage. Do we walk away or do we give them a chance? Walk away, right?
  2. We Have Little Patience. As strong women, we’re generally very confident. That’s not to say that we don’t have any insecurities, but we generally know we have a lot to offer another person. Because of that, we have very little patience for people who play games. We appreciate obvious signs of commitment rather than someone purposely trying to make themselves appear unavailable. If they continuously wait 30 minutes to text us back and don’t call when they say they will, we move on and never look back.
  3. We’re Intimidating. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been called intimidating. It’s a common term used to describe strong women, even though it’s not really accurate. According to Google, the definition of intimidating is “having a frightening, overawing, or threatening effect.” We’re not frightening, we’re just strong — and some people are fearful of that. But that’s their problem, not ours. That’s why it’s important to date people who are similar to us, or at least not afraid of a strong woman.
  4. We Have Other Goals. Have you heard the saying, “love comes your way when you aren’t looking for it?” That’s bulls–t. We’re not saying your life should revolve around dating, but to find love, you have to be open to the idea. Unfortunately, strong women live busy lives and don’t always make finding love a priority. We often don’t realize just how little time we’re dedicating to the process of “putting ourselves out there” and meeting potential partners until we start wondering why we’re struggling to find dates…
  5. We Don’t Like To Compromise. Compromising doesn’t come easy to strong women, and that’s not because we’re self-centered. You’re just a natural-born leader and used to having people follow your lead. Unfortunately, to be successful in love, you need to know how to compromise. It’s important you let your partner have a say, and that they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and opinions. The last thing you want is to bulldoze over your partner.
  6. You Don’t Like Flakes. Strong women do what they say and say what they mean. And they expect the same in return. Unfortunately, not many people are like that these days. Some people get a kick out of making plans, only to cancel them the day of. Strong women won’t deal with that, especially if the reason is bogus and it happens continuously.
  7. We Don’t Commit Easily. Strong women might not play games, but we aren’t quick to the draw when it comes to committing to one person. We like to make sure it’s a good fit first. That can take a while — months, maybe even years. Even if we think we’ve found “the one,” committing won’t come naturally. That’s because strong women like to be in control, and being in a committed relationship means we have to give up some of our power.
  8. We Have Walls Up. Believe it or not, strong women aren’t immune to heartbreak. We’ve experienced it many times, from losing friends to significant others. While these experiences have made us strong, it’s also caused us to build up walls. We don’t automatically trust everyone we meet or want to open up to people. It takes time for strong women to put our walls down, as well as work on our partners’ end. But it’s worth it.
  9. We Don’t Need A Partner. While strong women crave being loved,we don’t need a partner to be happy. Sure, dating someone would be nice, but it’s not a necessity. We can take care of ourselves. In fact, we enjoy taking care of ourselves. And while that’s great, having too much independence can deter potential suitors. This isn’t to say strong women can’t fall in love, but it needs to be with the right person. And that’s probably not someone who needs constant attention and positive reinforcement.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.