Why You Keep Attracting Guys Who Will Never Make You Happy

Do you feel unlucky in love? While it’s easy to blame a tumultuous love life on luck, curses, or even fate, the truth is it’s far more likely that you’re unknowingly doing things that are ruining your own chances of finding love. Check out these mistakes that might be causing you attract the wrong guys into your life.

1. You have limiting beliefs surrounding love. Limiting beliefs are those thoughts that pass through your mind which you believe to be true, and stop you from achieving your potential. When it comes to love, limiting beliefs can stop you from finding and maintaining the relationship of your dreams. For example, you might believe that marriage can only end in divorce because you grew up in a divorced household. So you subconsciously push away great guys, only letting in the wrong ones, because you don’t actually want to get married because you don’t want to get divorced. Identify and dismantle your limiting beliefs and you’ll better be able to attract a partner who will make you happy.
2. You don’t have a high sense of self-worth. If you don’t think highly of yourself, it’s difficult to attract the right guy for you. When you don’t have high self-esteem, you’re more likely to accept partners who don’t treat you properly, simply because you believe that’s all you deserve.
3. You have a low vibration. The Law of Attraction states that we attract all things and people into our lives with our vibrational energy. If you have a high vibration, created by positive thoughts and emotions, you’ll attract people that make you happy. So if you’re only attracting guys that are making you unhappy, you could be vibrating at a low frequency. You can change your vibration by changing your thoughts and emotions.
4. You seek the familiar. Do you keep attracting the same kind of guy, over and over again? If you only ever seem to date a particular type, it could be because that pattern is familiar and therefore comforting to you. Even though this type of guy might be making you unhappy, you continue to seek him out because he is familiar. For example, you might keep dating traditional guys who believe in strict gender roles because your father was like that, and these guys, by extension, seem safe and familiar. Once you realize these patterns aren’t actually serving you, you can begin to reject and dismantle them.
5. Your priorities are confused. It’s possible that you keep attracting the wrong type of guy because you aren’t sure of your own priorities. Are you ready to settle down and have a family? Then it might be time to write off guys who are looking for “something casual” on dating apps.
6. You portray yourself as someone you’re not. If you pretend to be someone you’re not during the dating phase, it’s very difficult to attract the right person for you. Rather, you will continue to attract people who are good matches for the character you’ve created, but not for you.
7. You expect a partner to solve all your problems. Maybe the reason why you keep attracting guys who can’t make you happy is that your expectations are too high. It’s okay to have high standards, but if you expect your partner to solve all your problems, you’ll always be disappointed. If you are fundamentally unhappy, a partner can’t miraculously make you happy; that’s work you have to do by yourself.

1. You fear being alone. When you fear being alone, you’re more likely to accept people into your life who don’t treat you properly. Rather than rejecting a person when they demonstrate red flags, you continue to see them because you think that’s better than being alone. And as a result, you end up unhappy.
2. You ignore red flags. Speaking of red flags, it’s important to look out for them and respond accordingly when you’re on the dating scene. If you ignore red flags because you’re a little too optimistic, you’re likely to end up with guys who disappoint you, rather than making you happy.
3. You look for love in the wrong places. The type of lover you attract can have a lot to do with where you find them. For example, if you frequent places where you’re likely to meet like-minded people, such as a library if you love books or a dog park if you love animals, you have a better chance of meeting someone who’s right for you.
4. You’re still not over a past lover. When your heart still belongs to an ex, it’s nearly impossible to find someone who can make you happy. No matter who you attract, he won’t be able to please you if you’re still pining for your ex.
5. You fear being in a relationship. It could be that you can’t attract the right guy because you fear being in a relationship. Philophobia is a genuine fear that can stem from a variety of triggers. If you do fear relationships, you’re likely to subconsciously jeopardize things every time you get close to finding happiness with someone new.
6. You don’t know what a good relationship looks like. It’s hard to find happiness in a healthy relationship if you don’t know what a good relationship looks like. If you’ve only ever been surrounded by relationships plagued with abuse or infidelity, you won’t necessarily know to hold out for a man who doesn’t bring those things.
7. You don’t know what you want. When you don’t know what you want, you won’t know when it’s standing in front of you. It’s possible that you can’t find a guy who will make you happy because you don’t know what you’re looking for, and you keep looking in the wrong places. Sometimes, you have to date a bunch of “wrong” guys to learn what you don’t want, so this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But the sooner you get clear on what you want, the sooner you’ll be able to attract it.