Why You Suddenly Feel Trapped In A Relationship You Used To Think Was Perfect

Your feelings towards relationships and the people you have them with are always open to change. Sometimes, a relationship you once thought was perfect and indestructible starts seeming incredibly flawed, to the point where you want out. But what causes us to suddenly feel trapped in a relationship that was once great? Read on to find out!

  1. You jumped in before you were ready. If you enter into a new relationship before you’re really ready, chances are you’ll regret it. Often, this happens when you act against your better judgment and gut feelings. You might agree to be in a new relationship because of pressure from that person, other people you know (like your family) or even society in general. Or it could be that you had other goals for your life at this stage, and while you like your new partner, you weren’t ready for this kind of commitment but decided to dive in anyway. Usually, you’ll get to a point where you’ll realize that you weren’t ready to make such a big commitment. That realization can leave you feeling trapped.
  2. You were only in it for the chase. Some people like the attention and validation the get from the “chasing” part of a relationship. But that doesn’t mean they want the rest of the relationship. Sometimes, you feel trapped because you never intended to get into a full-blown relationship; you were only in it for the chase. This is usually the case when you lose all interest in a person once you know that they’re yours, or you’re theirs.
  3. You’ve really gotten to know your partner. Ideally, you should know what type of person you’re in a relationship with. But for a variety of reasons, it’s super-common for people to get into relationships without really understanding who they’re with. This can happen because the other person purposely deceives them. Or it might be that things moved too fast and your perspective was tainted by rose-colored lenses. If you get to know your partner and you don’t like what you’re seeing, it’s understandable that you’d feel trapped being with them.
  4. You settled just to stop being single. This is probably one of the most common causes of feeling trapped in a relationship that you thought was great. If you entered into the relationship because you thought you’d rather settle than be single, you’re probably realizing that it’s actually better to stay single. Being in a relationship your heart’s not in sounds easy but is really difficult, especially if you’re an honest or passionate person.
  5. You have a better understanding of what you want. It can be tricky to know exactly what you want. If you get into a relationship before you figure it out, you might find that you don’t actually want what you thought you did. Once you know what you really want, you might realize that you were on the right track all along and your partner can make you happy. Or you’ll realize that your relationship no longer aligns with your desires. And when that happens, you’re likely to feel suffocated by that relationship.
  6. Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries. Boundaries are important because they dictate to others what we will and won’t put up with. Boundaries are how we show people how to treat us and what we feel comfortable with. When you have a partner that doesn’t respect your boundaries, it can definitely make you feel trapped. It’s overwhelming at the best of times to have someone infringe on your space, either physically or emotionally. And it’s even more overwhelming when that person is the closest person to you.
  7. You’re past the honeymoon stage. Unfortunately, some people feel a massive change in the dynamics of their relationship when they’re past the honeymoon stage. During that initial carefree period, everything might seem perfect. But once it passes and the “novelty” has worn off, you might feel like the relationship is more of a burden than a blessing. That feeling might be a temporary response to the passing of the honeymoon period. Of it might be your brain’s way of telling you that this relationship isn’t for you.
  8. Your expectations are unrealistic. If your expectations of what a relationship should be are unrealistic, it’s normal for a real relationship to make you feel trapped. When you think a relationship involves passion, positivity, and laughter 100 per cent of the time with no lows or effort, then reality is going to be pretty confronting.
  9. You’ve lost your independence. When you lose your independence in a relationship, it can leave you feeling helpless, overwhelmed, and suffocated. This happens when you’re with a partner who coaxes you to rely on them for everything. The arrangement might sound good at first, but having no independence as an adult is the opposite of empowering. You’ll more than likely start feeling like the relationship is a ball and chain getting in the way of your freedom.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.