One Woman Got So Tired Of Waiting For Mr. Right, She Married A Rock

One Woman Got So Tired Of Waiting For Mr. Right, She Married A Rock

If you’re sick of waiting and dating around to find The One, only to end up with a string of crappy guys who aren’t worth your time, I feel you. You know who else feels you? Artist Tracey Emin. She understands all too well the fact that guys let you down and the good ones are really hard to find, but she didn’t want to spend her life alone, so she took fate into her own hands — and it worked! Emin is a married woman now. The only thing is, her husband is a rock.

I don’t mean that in the whole, “Oh, my partner is my rock and helps me get through the day” metaphorical way, but rather in the actual, geological sense of the word. Emin married a rock — or rather, an “ancient stone” that’s by the seaside — and wore her father’s funeral shroud as she said her sacred vows. As she explained to The Guardian, “Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere. It will be there, waiting for me.”

“I thought the stone is so majestic and beautiful, I really do love the stone,” she told the South China Morning Post. “I thought about the way I love, how I pour love into things and people, whatever it is, passionately, but not expecting it to be returned either. I just accept that’s the way it is, it’s just me who gives. The stone becomes a metaphor for my feeling.”

If this all seems a little crazy to you, you’re not alone. However, Emin’s gesture isn’t one of insanity (probably), but more one of artistic discovery, as she explores the deeper implications of love beyond the sexual and veering more into the spiritual. It’s all a little la-di-da for my tastes, but if Emin’s happy, why not? After all, a rock won’t ignore your texts or pester you for sex when you’re really not in the mood, so that’s a plus, right?

That being said, I’m still of the belief that there’s someone — as in an actual, living human being that can interact with you in all the ways a rock clearly can’t — out there for everyone. So as exhausting as the search can get, don’t give up just yet, OK?

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more.