After being in multiple failed relationships and going on countless unsuccessful dates, it’s easy to get frustrated with your love life. Searching for your soulmate is tough work, and it’s hard not to give up hope sometimes. But before you throw in the towel, keep in mind that true love might just be waiting for certain things to happen before it appears. Here’s when it will:
When you’re least expecting it
It’s completely true what they say – he’s likely to walk into your life as soon as you stop obsessing over finding him. It sounds crazy, but it’s just one of the many things in life that don’t make a whole lot of sense. The best thing you can do is to stop worrying and make having fun and enjoying yourself your priority.
Once you’ve gotten comfortable with your own company
I can’t tell you how important it is to get comfortable with the feeling of being on your own. If it’s something you struggle with, make a point of doing one thing each week to connect with yourself – go for a walk on your own in the park, visit an exhibition, or even take yourself out to lunch. Once you’re comfortable being on your own, you’ll no longer be seeking a partner in order to fill a void, and that’s how you’ll attract someone who is truly right for you.
When you’re open to the idea of true love
If you don’t really believe in your heart of hearts that true love exists, then you don’t have a hope in hell of ever finding it. That might sound harsh, and it’s easier said than done when you’ve had some painful past experiences, but it’s the truth. When you open yourself up to the idea of a forever kind of love, the world will feel that passionately pure energy, and that’s what it will give you in return.
Once you know what you’re looking for
You can’t hope to find the man of your dreams unless you know who that man really is inside and out. What does he do? What is he passionate about? What does he believe in? You can’t just hope for someone tall, dark and handsome, because you just described millions of guys: the majority of whom would not be who you’re looking for. Get clear on your non-negotiable qualities. That way, you’ll quickly know when you meet someone if there’s any hope for a future rather than wasting time with morons who will never be able to make you happy.
When you do something you’ve never done before
Whether it’s giving Tinder a go, letting your friend set you up on a blind date, or talking to that cute guy who gets on your train to work every day, put yourself out there and try something new. Don’t complain about your circumstances or how you never meet any cute single guys. As the saying goes, if you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done before. So what if it scares you? It’s good to push yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable. What’s the worst that could happen?
When you realize that no one else is responsible for your happiness
If you’ve been in love before, you’ll know that no man has the power to make you happy. It doesn’t matter how amazing he is, and how fabulous your relationship is – your happiness is controlled by you and you alone. Once you see this, you will no longer be searching for someone to complete you. The single version of you will be the happiest version of yourself that you can be. Your forever person will be able to see all of your sunshine radiating from every part of your soul. And he’ll love you for it.
When you believe he’s out there
Every single guy you’ve ever dated might score off the charts on the jerk scale, but you can’t allow that to alter your faith in men. Believe me when I tell you that most people in this world are good. Even when you’ve been hurt, you need to keep a positive attitude, because good thoughts attract good things. Believe that your perfect man is out there; otherwise there’s not a chance he’s going to show up.
When you start being the person you hope to meet
The energy and vibes that you’re putting out into the world will be mirrored back in the people you meet and interact with. What is it that you’re looking for? Someone who is kind? Generous? Happy? Confident? Whatever it is, you need to start making sure you have those qualities yourself so you can attract someone else who has them.
Once you’ve found self-love
The only way you have a shot at true love is by learning to love yourself first. If you don’t love every single thing about yourself, flaws and all, how do you expect anybody else to? If being alone makes you feel like there’s something unlovable about you, the truth is you aren’t ready for love. Focus on building your self-confidence. Only then will you be able to welcome a healthy and blossoming relationship into your life.
When your heart and his are ready
If he hasn’t turned up yet, then it’s not the right time. Maybe your heart isn’t quite ready for forever yet. Maybe his isn’t either. The thing is, forever is a long-ass time, and it’s something that scares many of us. The next time you find yourself wondering when you’re going to find your forever person, remember that everything happens at the right time, just when we need it to. He’s on his way. I promise.