Playing hard to get sometimes gets a bad reputation as being malicious or misleading. But it’s not about playing with someone’s feelings. Instead, it’s about giving the relationship enough time to bloom without you taking the lead or showing interest too early, causing it to fizzle. It’s about ensuring that the person you’re dating is legit interested in you. Okay? Here are 11 easy ways to actually play hard to get.
1. Decline A Date (Or Two).
It’s really important to know how the person you’re dating responds to you saying “no.” Try it out when they ask you out to coffee or drinks. If they freak out, they’re a man-child. Move on, ’cause you don’t need that drama in your life. Saying “no” to some invites is also good to show the person you’ve got a busy, full life so they can’t expect you to be available to them 24-7.
2. Take Some Time To Reply.
Look, you can and should respond to texts quickly if you guys are having a massive connection. But, at least wait an hour or so, or you can look so desperate. No one wants to make that impression! Plus, if you’re busy with other things, you shouldn’t feel like you’ve got to push everything aside for this person. They’re not the center of your world. Let them miss you!
3. Don’t Ask Where Things Are Going.
You might want to lock this relationship down ASAP, but take a step back and take a deep breath! If you’ve only gone on a few dates, don’t ask where things with them are going. Showing the person how into them you are puts them in control. Rather let things happen naturally and suss out their intentions so you don’t open your heart to the wrong person. This isn’t about playing games – it’s about looking out for yourself!
4. Cut Conversations Short.
Whether you’re chatting via text or on the phone, it’s always wise to cut chats short during the early dating stages. You don’t want to burn through all the things you have to chat about so that things become boring. Leave some mystery and give the person a reason to call you again soon. You want them to feel excited about chatting to you some more when the call ends.
5. Mention You’ve Got Plans.
It’s tempting to want to clear your schedule for the new person you’re dating, but resist the temptation! You don’t want them to think you’ve got no life or you’re so desperate to get into a relationship that you’re going to put your life on hold. Nope, they’ve got to fit into your life, ladies. Instead of just playing hard to get, this tactic ensures that you show the person what you’re about so there aren’t misunderstandings later.
6. Don’t Sound Too Eager.
If the person’s open about how excited they are to hang out again, go ahead and share the sentiment. But don’t go OTT with how much you want to see them and how happy you are to have met them. If they were doing that, you’d accuse them of love-bombing. Yikes. So, relax a bit and take things in your stride. Be confident!
7. Don’t Tell Your Life Story.
Playing a bit hard to get involves holding back on how much you tell the person about yourself. Dishing on your entire life story during a first date is TMI, and it can make the other person feel overwhelmed. It’s all about the slow burn! Let them ask you questions before you shower them with your stories. This will also show you how invested they are in getting to know you.
8. Hold Back On The Physical Connection.
Okay, it’s 2024 – go ahead and sleep with them on the first date if that’s what you want to do. But, consider this: holding back on the physical connection allows an emotional and intellectual connection to form. This prevents you from dating someone just because you’ve got mad chemistry and helps you focus on relationship longevity. Make sure they’re the full package before you get serious.
9. Avoid Giving Them Too Many Compliments.
You might love their eyes, hair, and how confident they are. There’s no harm in telling them, but don’t give them too many compliments. This can come across as desperate or insincere, so stick to the ones that are the most meaningful. By holding back on the praise, you’ll get to learn more about the person instead of letting them know right away that you like them.
10. Don’t Do Anything Inconvenient.
If something doesn’t fit in with your schedule or feels inconvenient, like if the guy you’ve started dating wants to pop over at your house late at night, don’t do it! You shouldn’t try to please the person too much. You’re still learning about each other, so let them know what you like and don’t like. If you do, they’ll respect you more.
11. Work The Room On Your Own.
If you’re hanging out at a party with the new person you’re dating, try to do your own thing. Instead of being glued to their side all evening, work the room on your own. Show the person you’re independent and can take care of yourself. If you’re always by the person’s side, you come across as trying to show the world that you’re together. You’re a kick-ass, independent, and strong woman. Don’t forget that.
Like what you’ve read? Follow Bolde on MSN for more!
