You Know He’s A Douchebag, So Why Are You Dating Him?

There are plenty of things that make a guy a douchebag, but for some reason, we still date them anyway, much to the chagrin of every self-declared “nice guy” out there. So, why do we willingly enter into relationships with guys who aren’t necessarily “one of the good ones”? Here are just a few possibilities:

  1. He’s your douchebag. Clearly if you’re dating him even though he’s shown some serious d-bag-like tendencies, you have a soft spot for him. Besides, even the nicest guy in the world has probably done some things he isn’t proud of (like ghosting, or sleeping with a girl and then never calling her again), but that doesn’t mean he’ll do them to you.
  2. You think he might change for you. The magnetic pull of the ubiquitous bad boy is something every woman has experienced at least once in her life. All he really needs is the right girl and he’ll settle down, right? And there’s no reason that girl can’t be you, right?
  3. He’s never actually done anything to you personally. Sure, you’ve heard some less than flattering things about him, but is it really fair to judge him based on hearsay? As far as you’re concerned he’s innocent until proven guilty.
  4. You’ve had a lot of good times. It’s not as if you would date a guy who exclusively treated you like crap. He has his good qualities too, and you have a great time together. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t bother with him. There has to be enough good to outweigh the bad.
  5. The sex is fantastic. Just because you’re dating him right now doesn’t mean you think he’s your soulmate. There’s obviously a thing or two that’s actually pretty great about him, and if one of those things just happens to be his skills in the sack, so be it.
  6. One bad choice does not a douchebag make. Women tend to throw around the word “douchebag” with wild abandon sometimes. But just because a guy isn’t at your beck and call, treating you like a princess 24/7 doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. A relationship takes two people and if you’re being a bitch, his douchebag behavior may be justified (within reason, of course).
  7. You’re already in too deep. If the “he’s kind of a douchebag” epiphany hits you after you’ve already kind of fallen for him, it’s not exactly easy to walk away just like that. You could feel like you owe it to yourself to give him a chance before you write him off, because if you don’t, you might regret it.
  8. You think you can’t do better. This is something that crosses even the most self confident girl’s mind from time to time. The thought of ending up alone is scary and a douchebag knows how to get in your head when you’re at your most vulnerable. But the longer you let him linger, the harder it will be to get rid of him.
  9. You just want to give it a shot. People will always assume you’re dating a douchebag because you have low self esteem and you don’t know your worth, but it’s possible you just see something in him that no one else sees. Maybe if you get to know him a little better, the douchebag persona won’t be so prominent. Or maybe it will, at which point you’re free to dump him and move on.
  10. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Common sense might tell you that your first instinct was right– he’s not going to change for you and you’re better off staying far away from him, but listening to common sense isn’t always easy. Until you experience the damage a true douchebag can do, you just don’t believe he could really be all that bad.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.