If You’re “Bad At Communicating,” This Will Never Work

Decent communication skills are necessary for any healthy relationship, and I refuse to listen to the idea that you might be “bad” at them. If you refuse to even work towards being a better communicator, you’re better off finding someone else to date.

  1. Communication is essential to healthy relationships. I would say that there are a few cornerstones to a great partnership. They include trust, honesty, respect, and communication. I don’t believe that a truly successful relationship can exist without all of them. You need to have communication skills to be with me.
  2. I can’t read your mind and I shouldn’t have to. I won’t waste my time and energy trying to figure out what you want. I need you to tell me how you feel and why you respond in certain ways. I want to understand you, but I can’t do so without your help. It doesn’t benefit either of us when you’re unable to share your feelings. You can’t just assume that I know what you think without you vocalizing it.
  3. You can’t assume I know what’s going on. The necessary communication isn’t always about how you feel about certain things. It can be as simple as relaying pertinent information in a timely manner. We’ll avoid so many fights and misunderstandings if we simply tell each other clearly what’s happening. I cannot even begin to count how many of my arguments have started with “You never told me that.” You’ve got to help our relationship to run smoothly.
  4. I refuse to do all the communicating for both of us. Listen up and pay attention, because this is a two-way street. We both need to behave like mature adults and put in work. I may be a strong woman, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to carry this whole thing on my back. I can’t do it alone, and I won’t even try. It’s not worth it. I can talk until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t matter if you don’t reply.
  5. Your excuses aren’t valid to me. I don’t think I’m being harsh when I say there’s no excuse for bad communication. You can learn to do better. I know that I have as I’ve grown over the years. Not improving indicates that you don’t care very much about me or the relationship. Anyone can improve their communication skills if they really try. I’ve seen enough examples with my own eyes to know it’s true.
  6. Your entire life is affected by your bad communication skills. This isn’t just about us — it’s about the way your lack of communication affects every other element of your world. If we’re together, you can’t protect me from the adverse effects of this huge problem. I’ll have to support you through every issue you encounter with family, friends, and employers. It’s bad enough if you can’t talk to me, but it’s even worse if you can’t talk to anyone at all.
  7. I refuse to keep beating my head against a wall. If you won’t attempt to improve, you leave me only two choices: to suck it up and accept the way things are or to move on. I’m not willing to settle for a relationship that doesn’t include a strong and constant dialogue, so you know what I have to do. I don’t want to say goodbye, but you don’t leave me any real alternative. I need a man who will devote as much energy to the relationship as I do.
  8. I require a man who is in touch with himself. I’m a grown woman and as such, I deserve a mature man. If you know yourself, then you know how to talk to me and everyone else in your life. Even if your communication skills aren’t the greatest, you acknowledge that and pledge to improve. I can’t work with a man who blames his issues on everyone around him instead of recognizing that he needs to up his own game.
  9. Bad communication skills are a sign of emotional immaturity. You can’t talk about your feelings because you aren’t comfortable being vulnerable and open. You don’t explain yourself because you aren’t thoughtful and considerate enough. You assume I already know what’s going on because you’re too self-involved to think about someone else’s perspective. The common thread here is that you’re not emotionally mature enough to be with me. I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.