You know “The Talk” is an important relationship milestone, but it’s not everything. It’s important that you don’t obsess about it too much, especially if you’ve only been dating the guy for a month. However, there are some good things to keep an eye out for that show you where he’s at. If he’s doing these 10 things, he’s already exclusively and officially yours – you don’t have to wait for him to say those words.
- He’s opened his door for you. No, I’m not talking about chivalry (although that is a nice touch). I’m talking about a guy opening the door to his home. He’s let you see where he lives and he’s totally cool with you popping around to see him whenever you feel like it. The guy doesn’t have anything to hide (like a live-in girlfriend) and he’s quite literally opening the door to his life to you too.
- He’s done the introductions. When he lets you meet his friends and family, it’s a huge deal. But note how he does it. If you meet his best friend in passing at a club, that’s not necessarily a sign that he’s official and exclusive with you. If, on the other hand, you’ve had sit-down dinners with his folks and his friends have become your friends, then that’s a different story. He’s making you a part of his life.
- He likes your spontaneity. He’s all about planning dates (more on that later), but he’s also good with last-minute plans sometimes. The latter might be what a f**boy would do, but when it’s part of a guy’s overall plan of getting to know you, it can be romantic, like when he calls you to say he’s around the corner and wants to have a moonlit walk on the beach. If he loves your spontaneous ways too, then you know he’s making himself available to you.
- He’s made future plans. If he can make plans for the future – next week, next month, and maybe even next year – then you know he sees you in the bigger picture of his life. He’s not just firing up your phone and Saturday nights for a while until he gets bored. When a guy can make future plans with you, it’s a clear sign that he’s going to be available for you in the future, so you can start to get used to having him around.
- He makes regular plans. Future plans are telling that a guy wants to be with you in the long-term, but regular plans in the present are just as important. He should be making plans to actually see you instead of always talking about how he’d love to hang out.
- He’s told you how he feels. Maybe he hasn’t said the words “I want to be your boyfriend,” but he doesn’t have to. If he’s told you that he likes you or he’s shared how much value you bring to his life, those are very good signs. Especially when they’re combined with other good signs, such as…
- You know what he wants out of relationships. He shouldn’t just be talking about how much he likes you, but also how much he wants to be in a relationship. A guy who really likes you will make it clear that he wants to be in a long-term relationship that’s committed and exclusive. The reason? He wants to be sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.
- He’s consistent. He doesn’t make romantic plans once a month and then vanish from the scene for a few weeks. This guy is consistent. He texts and sees you regularly, without bullshit excuses for why he’s not around. Although you might not want a guy who’s too predictable, when it comes to showing you that he’s interested through his actions and reliability, you want a guy who sticks to a routine!
- He never talks about other women. Sure, he might tell you about Jasmine in his HR department at work or Mila, his best friend. But he never tells you about women to the point where you wonder if he’s dating around. He also doesn’t have mentionitis about a specific woman that makes you want to start waving red flags. This is important because he’s careful about what he says and wants to make it clear that you’re the only woman he’s got his eyes on.
- He’s introduced you by name (or as his girlfriend). The first time a guy introduces you to someone, it can be nerve-wracking – for both of you! He might not have the courage to introduce you as his girlfriend just yet (especially if it’s too soon), but he won’t introduce you as his friend. That’s a low blow! He’ll find some middle ground by introducing you by name, and he might be holding your hand or have his arm around your shoulder while he does it, showing those around you that you’re his.