It takes a lot for me to open up (literally and figuratively) and let someone in, which means casual sex is a no-no in my book. Many men these days think “Netflix and chill” is a relationship status – they reap all the benefits while having to put in little to no effort. That just doesn’t work for me. If you’re sleeping with me, you’d better do these 8 things as well:
- Treat me with respect. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s not. I expect you to not just treat me like a woman, but a woman you’re in a relationship with! This means communicating your wants, needs, likes, dislikes and especially things that seem like they may hurt me or that are uncomfortable to bring up. For example, if your ex keeps calling you, don’t hide it and assume that I don’t need to know. Tell me! Being open and upfront about things shows you respect my opinions and my feelings. I’m not just another notch on your belt.
- Don’t just text – call me. When’s the last time you had an actual conversation on the phone with someone you’re dating? I’m talking about a real conversation. You probably can’t even remember, right? Text messages have made people lazy. Yes, they’re convenient, but they’re so impersonal and lack any real effort. A phone conversation shows that you can take time out of their day to talk to me because I actually matter, just as I should.
- Don’t introduce me as just a friend. Professing our relationship status is HUGE to women. It shows us that we’re not just a casual hookup, but someone who matters and is different than anyone else in your life. It drives me nuts how I can date a guy for months and when I finally meet his friends or family, he says, “This is my friend Anjelica.” I’m sorry, are you partaking in sexual encounters with all your friends? Because if you are, then we need to be having a whole other conversation. If you’re sleeping with me, profess that crap.
- Don’t be like every other guy. It seems like every guy these days is just waiting for something better to come along. As a result, they end up treating the person they’re currently dating like crap. Treat me like I mean something to you. Be the extraordinary guy that knows he has the something better. I need to know I’m appreciated. I need to know how lucky you feel to have me.
- Forget Netflix and chill 24/7. I’m a total homebody and like the idea of staying in sometimes, but if you only want me to come over to have sex (and don’t want relationship ties that come with it) then let’s call this what it is — a hookup. If there comes a point where the Netflix part goes away and the only thing I’m starting at is your ceiling and a not a TV, that’s a problem.
- Take me on a date once and a while. It’s easy to get caught in a routine of staying in, especially if a relationship has just hit the spot in between the Honeymoon Phase and relationship phase. I get comfortable with the idea of just cooking dinner at home and falling asleep with you. How do you break that? Make plans! It shows initiative and it shows that you have me, but you’re doing what it takes to keep me.
- Be chivalrous. Call me old fashioned, but opening doors, standing on the outside of the sidewalk and paying for meals shouldn’t be a question. If you’re sleeping with me, I need to still feel courted and protected. I’m all for women’s rights and independence, but I still need to feel like a woman. So yeah, I can pay my half of the check and open my own door, but if you really like me, you’ll do those things to show it.
- Oral is to be reciprocated every. single. time. I hate to sound too demanding, but this is non-negotiable. If I can go down on you almost every time we have sex, you bet your ass I expect the same. It’s a dealbreaker for me if a guy does not go down on me. Why, you ask? Because real men do oral. That’s right, I said it. Real men actually enjoy it, and here’s the kicker – you don’t have to ask for it! So if you don’t go down under, profess your intentions, or don’t know what you want, kick rocks. Sleeping with me is not just a treat, it is a privilege.