Don’t for a second think that being single is some sort of disability. That’s the most laughable news of the century! If you’ve been single for ages and you see this continuing into the future, you should be celebrating your “forever single” status rather than mourning it. Here’s why:
It’s not just about doing whatever you want whenever you want (though that’s a definite perk). People usually praise being single because it means they can come and go as they please. This is great, but being “forever single” is so much more rewarding than that. You know that your life isn’t defined by another person. By not being tied down, you’re free to grow in any direction or manner you please, which is especially satisfying in your 30s and beyond because you know yourself so much more.
It’s not about having the second-best thing. It’s common to say that it’s better to be single than be in an unhappy relationship or marriage, and that’s true. But the problem with this statement is that it implies that being single isn’t better than being in a happy relationship. But who says so?! It can be just as satisfying. In fact, Sociology professors at Bowling Green University surveyed 51,000 people and analyzed 38 years of data to find that single women in their 60s are just as happy as their married counterparts.
You don’t need a relationship to be loved. One of the things you learn as you get older and become a “forever single” is that there are so many different kinds of love to be enjoyed in the world. Romantic love in relationships is only one of them. You don’t really need it to feel loved, cared for — or to have an amazing sex life, either. (Just saying.)
It’s a conscious choice — own it. You don’t just become “forever single.” Please. It’s a choice you make throughout your life because it’s the best thing for you. If you think about it, it’s not that difficult to get married to someone, especially if you don’t have high standards and just want to get hitched for the sake of it. Loads of people have done it, but maybe you want more. That’s what people forget: your destiny is in your hands.
There’s really nothing wrong with you. It’s crazy to think that some people will still look at you in shock when you tell them that you’re 35+ and single. You’d swear that being single wasn’t the norm, but it is. Research by Bloomberg that was conducted in 2015 found that over half of American adults are single. So really, single women should be looking at their married counterparts in shock because the tables have turned.
You’re not defined by a relationship. There are many different ways in which people define themselves. It could be by their marriage, their career or their kids, for instance. By not being in a relationship, you make the choice not to be defined by one, preferring to choose other things to make you feel a sense of purpose. The bonus? Without a relationship in your life, you have more time to dedicate to those feel-good goals.
You’re empowered, not just “making do.” Forget Bridget Jones. Forget the idea that you’re surviving your single status. Hell no — you’re thriving in it! “Forever singles” are making things happen for themselves and living it up. Research from the National Association of Realtors shows that 17 percent of homebuyers in the U.S. are single women, compared to just 7 percent of single men.
You have stronger friendships. People who end up in long-term relationships sometimes lose their friends. Oxford University research even backs this up: both men and women are likely to lose their closest friends – usually two – when settling into a new relationship. Being single means that you can keep those close, satisfying connections going strong. Those people who end up isolating themselves from their friends risk ending up single – and miserable – if their relationships don’t work out because they’ll have lost their BFFs too.
Everyone ends up alone in the future. This isn’t supposed to sound macabre! Seriously, though, those smug women who treat you like you’re an alien for being single will probably end up alone at some point in their lives, which means they’ll be single too. It’s natural. Nothing lasts forever and single status is something we all go back to eventually, even if not forever, so it might as well be something amazing.
You’re the envy of your married friends. People always want what they can’t have. Although being single sometimes gets a bad rap, the truth is that it’s also the envy of people in long-term relationships and marriages at times, like when they’re fighting with their partner over household chores again. You have better things to do with your time. “Forever single” is probably just a taboo because unhappily married people don’t want to admit how appealing it looks from over there in the “50 percent divorce rate” lane.
It’s healthier for you to remain single. The next time someone asks you why you’re still single, tell them you’re doing it for your health. Think of all the stress you eliminate by not getting into a relationship. Then, you might also be fitter. A UK study found that 62 percent of people tend to pile on the pounds when they’re in a committed relationship. It’s not about being vain, but wanting to be the healthiest you can, and if being single enables you to do that, then you’re the one who’s winning.
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