The phrase, “If you love him, let him go” has always been so confusing to me. If I really care for a guy, why would I end things? How would I benefit from that? My rocky relationship with you gave me the exact answers to those questions over time. There’s a little chunk missing from that phrase in my opinion. It should read, “If you love him and he doesn’t love you just as much, let him go.”
- Your problems became my problems. I felt like if I could stick around and help you through your issues, we could have made it through anything. In the early days of our tumultuous relationship, I thought I could be the strong one. I could be the one to ease your pain. What really ended up happening was that you heaped all of the guilt and blame on my shoulders.
- I figured out that help can only really come to those that are willing to help themselves. Being with a guy like you, someone who constantly wallows in his own sorrows, can get old fast. There were times that I felt so guilty because the emotional toll of hanging out with you was just too much. Who could be that sad all the time? I was always suggesting you reach out to the school psychiatrist, but you opted to find comfort in drugs and other women instead.
- Loving you chipped away at my pride every day. Towards the end of our relationship, I didn’t recognize the person you had become. I was constantly seeking validation from you for my relationship and my grades were slipping because I was always making last minute trips to your school to make sure you were okay. I was no longer your girlfriend, I was your caretaker.
- You taught me how to spot manipulation from a mile away. You always knew I was a huge advocate for mental health awareness. Going to therapy had already changed my life on more than one occasion. One thing that never crossed my mind was using my struggles to manipulate others. Instead of speaking to someone that could’ve helped you, you decided to take your pain out on me and manipulated me into thinking it was my job to make your life easier for you. None of that effort was ever returned and I’m now fully aware of people that are only interested in one-sided relationships.
- After I let you go, I started giving myself what I deserve. There were times during our relationship that I felt bad about indulging in things I loved. How could I be fulfilled and happy when you, the person I loved, was so down? I would opt to stay in and chat on the phone with you instead of going out to my favorite frat house with my girlfriends. After ending things, I started living life for me and it was incredibly liberating.
- Leaving you opened the door for me to address my own mental health. I took my own advice and reached out to the therapist my school provided to its students. It felt so good to just unload the past year of my life onto a third party that didn’t have any type of emotional connection to the situation. Talking to girlfriends was great, but I didn’t need to hear, “He’s a jerk!” over and over again. I knew that already, I just needed to vent and learn how to move on from you in a healthy way.
- Relationships with people that truly care for me grew stronger. Being with you was so isolating at times. I spent so much time making sure you were okay that I began to let other relationships with my loved ones fall by the wayside. I put a lot of effort into rebuilding those important relationships with people that had never left my side.
- My view of relationships has changed dramatically since I left you. Now more than ever, I view relationships as a two-way street. There are going to be days where I’m down and I need a leg up from someone else and vice versa. A really good relationship is built up by a support system of two people that love one another. The responsibility to keep a relationship moving forward should never rest on one person’s shoulders for long.
- I see myself in a new light now that you’re gone. It was a slow process at first, but I have come to realize that I deserve so much more than the hand I was dealt in my old relationship with you. I have the capacity to care for people in need, but I also see now that I’m worth reciprocating for.
- I learned that I’m enough, thanks to you. Taking care of you for as long as I did only to find out you were sleeping around behind my back made me feel lower than I ever have in my life. It made me feel small, like I didn’t exist. It took a lot of girl’s nights and wine, but eventually I saw the light. There was never anything wrong with me. You didn’t give me the love I deserved and I did the right thing by moving on. I was always enough, you were just too blind to see it.
