10 Lessons You Learn From Being Really Single That Make You An Awesome Girlfriend

Even if you love your solo life and don’t need a guy to make you happy, there’s truly no better feeling than finally finding love… especially when you thought that just wasn’t going to ever happen for you. But just because you’re saying sayonara to your single status doesn’t mean that you can’t learn something from the experience. Here are 10 lessons from your single AF existence that make you an awesome girlfriend:

  1. You don’t need to be with someone, you want to. And there’s a pretty massive difference, right? There are girls who always need to be a girlfriend and then there’s you. While all those nights that you spent alone might have sucked and you might have wondered why you were still dating, they taught you that you’re perfectly fine on your own. Now that you’re coupled up, your strength and independence are really attractive qualities.
  2. You have high standards. Sure, you could have started a relationship with a lot of guys before now, but you weren’t interested in settling. That’s something to be proud of. All those bad dates showed you who you didn’t want to be with. The fact that you’re not willing to put up with anyone’s crap means you’re exactly the kind of person that the right guy is interested in. Chances are, your new boyfriend tells you all the time that you’re super smart and amazing. And chances are, you’ve inspired him to follow his own dreams and do what he wants with his life, too. What guy wouldn’t be into that?!
  3. You know there’s more to life than being in a relationship. Yeah, you love all the trappings of having a boyfriend—the cuddly nights, the permanent plus-one, the kissing—but since you spent so long without one, you get that it’s not the be all, end all. You still value your friendships and family and you still have a super fun, awesome, full life.
  4. You’re still you. One of the best compliments you can get from your friends who’ve watched you go from single AF to super in love is that you’re still you. You haven’t changed, even though you’re totally in love now, and you’re still as there for them as always. You get that no one wants to hang out with someone who can’t stop gushing about the new guy in their life and you never want to be that incredibly annoying person.
  5. You never know what’s going on in anyone’s relationship. When you’re really single, it’s easy to judge your friends who are in serious relationships. You swear that you know what’s best for them and it just seems like they’re really unhappy, doesn’t it? Once you’re in that coupled up boat yourself, you realize that you have no idea why people stay together. Maybe your friends are truly happy and so are their boyfriends. There’s no one way to be in love, after all. This realization will make you an amazing girlfriend since you’ll be less judgemental and more compassionate when your own relationship has some awkward growing pains.
  6. Milestones are less stressful than you think. When you’re single, it’s easy to think that having The Talk and meeting your new BF’s parents are both super stressful, anxiety-producing things. How are you ever going to get through that? In reality, once you meet the right person and go through all that normal early relationship stuff, it truly feels like no big deal. You know that you’re doing what feels natural and that keeps you super calm and chill.
  7. Literally everyone worries about the same things. Chances are, once you and your boyfriend have made things official, he’s going to tell you that he worried for days about the first time that you guys kissed or he wasn’t sure that you wanted to be his girlfriend. Everyone worries about the same things when it comes to love and dating… and that’s super comforting. No one really knows what they’re doing.
  8. No one cares about your love life as much as you do. Being single AF means feeling like all eyes are on you, all the time. You feel like your friends and family can’t believe that you’re still on your own and that they’re talking about your inability to get a boyfriend behind your back all the time. Once you get a boyfriend, of course your people are happy for you, but honestly, life goes on. They have their own things going on and they’re not as invested in your relationship as you are. And that’s the way that it’s supposed to be.
  9. The best relationships seem boring AF. Once you settle into a groove with your boyfriend, you guys honestly won’t seem like you do much at all. Your weeknights will be spent making dinner and watching Netflix, and the same thing goes for weekends, along with some drinking and brunching. And that’s pretty awesome. While your friends might wonder why you two never seem to go anywhere or do anything exciting, you know that just being with the person that you love is truly enough.
  10. You realize that the bad dates and hard times were all totally worth it. It’s impossible to believe this when you’re in the thick of it. How can getting ghosted for the 10th time in a row or not getting any matches on Tinder be a blessing in disguise? When you’re finally in a relationship, you realize that although your single life had its low moments, you wouldn’t trade them for anything. They brought you here to this amazing guy… and it’s exactly where you always wanted to be. You’ll never take his love for granted.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.