10 Reasons I’m Done Being Anxious About Finding Love

When I was a kid, I definitely thought I’d have it all figured out by now, especially in love. In reality, I’m still single with no romantic prospects on the horizon — but I’m not stressing about it in the least. Here’s why I’m not putting a timeline on finding the right guy for me:

  1. It creates anxiety. Why should I put unnecessary pressure on myself to accomplish something impossible? It’s just plain silly. There’s enough stress in the day without feeling bad about myself for not being in a certain place with my love life by a certain age. I’ve learned to let go of the things I can’t control, and that includes finding my person. If and when it happens, great.
  2. It doesn’t help anything. The best way to NOT find love is to desperately seek it. It has to happen organically and naturally, and it definitely won’t if I’m looking at every guy I see and imagining that I could somehow make him into the one for me. I let go of the expectations so I can relax and be myself. This will eventually attract the kind of guy I want to be with.
  3. Love shows up when it wants. That’s just the way it is. I might as well live to the fullest, do exactly what I want, and not worry about the relationship side of things. Yes, I would like a partner, but I’m also very happy as a single woman. When the right person comes along, I will welcome him with open arms. Until then, I’m enjoying myself.
  4. It’ll happen when it’s time. I know that I’m not in a place to date seriously right now. I need to focus on so many other things in order to better myself. I want to be the person I know I can become. Once I’m there, I have faith that I will attract the right man. I also believe that I can’t get what I want until I’m ready for it, and I’m not quite there yet.
  5. I’m too busy right now. We all have times in our lives when we feel like there’s just not enough time in the day. To be frank, I pretty much always feel that way! I hardly know what it means to have a lazy afternoon. There’s a lot to juggle, and when I have no boyfriend, that’s one less ball to worry about. It eases the stress of the rest of my life to know that I don’t have to take care of or compromise with a partner.
  6. I’m focused on building my career. I get too distracted by men and relationships. I’m better off not dating at all until I get where I want to be in my career. It’s hard enough to spend any time with my friends, let alone some new guy who might not end up a part of my life. I want to build a secure future for myself before it’s too late.
  7. I’m focused on developing myself personally. I’ve been spending the past year learning to center and ground myself, but all that stuff takes maintenance. It takes yoga and meditation and rest and good food and mindfully creating a life that doesn’t give me additional stress. I’m committed to my relationship with myself. That comes first right now.
  8. I’m okay being alone. This was the hardest battle to win, and I’m so excited to have done it! I don’t feel lonely anymore because I’m filled up with self-love and gratitude for my life. I don’t sit around wishing I had a guy. I’m too busy spending my time working and creating and dreaming and exploring and loving what I already have. I could never have a long-term partner and I would still have a perfectly wonderful life.
  9. I don’t want kids. This is honestly a game-changer. I can understand the worries of my friends who are single and want to start a family. Biologically, their time is slowly running out. They don’t want to be middle-aged moms. They’re afraid they might never meet the right guy or that by the time they do it’ll be too late to have kids. I’m really lucky in a way that I don’t want all those things because that means it doesn’t really matter how old I am when I meet the guy for me.
  10. I can take care of myself. I’ve been supporting myself since I graduated college. I even technically supported myself then because I had a full scholarship and got a stipend for room and board. As someone who has never wanted to take money from anyone, I’m perfectly capable of paying my own bills. I don’t need a man to take care of me financially. I know that no matter what, I will always make it work. I have faith in myself, and when I meet the right partner we’ll stand next to each other as equals. I never want to rely on someone else to support me.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.