10 Signs You’re His Girlfriend Even If You Haven’t Had “The Talk”

Don’t believe the haters when they say you can never turn a booty call into a relationship. It may not be the norm, but it can certainly happen. He may not officially ask you to be exclusive, but he’ll show his commitment to you in other ways. Here are some subtle signs there’s nothing casual about your relationship and you’re actually his girlfriend.

He’s in constant contact. The guy who always blows you off and doesn’t check up on you isn’t serious about you at all. But the guy who’s in constant contact and always reaching out to you already sees you as someone important in his life. If he’s excited about where things are headed with the two of you, he’ll want to text and call you consistently. Usually, a day won’t go by without him reaching out and letting you know you’re on his mind.

You’re all his on the weekend. When a guy’s juggling other options, his weekends will be jam-packed with various dates and activities. If the guy you’re seeing is always trying to dominate your time on Fridays and Saturdays, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re the only one on his radar.

Secrets? What secrets? He’ll be open and honest with you because he has nothing to hide. If he’s MIA for a few hours, he’ll gladly offer up an explanation, and if he can’t spend time with you on a certain day, he’ll open up and let you know why he’s busy. The kind of guy that doesn’t keep secrets will answer his phone in front of you. Most importantly, he’ll keep his cell phone face up when the two of you are together.

He’s fine with just cuddling. This is one of the biggest signs you’re his girlfriend (or might as well be). He doesn’t always want nor expect sex, so spending the night cuddling is perfectly fine with him. This shows that he has deeper feelings for you and is open to connecting on an emotional level. You’re definitely not a fling—you’re already his one and only.

Sexual exclusivity is a thing. If the two of you are sexually exclusive, you might as well consider yourself his girlfriend. Showing that he’s only intimate with you proves that he’s committed to you in every way possible. He’s no longer out playing the field and trying to see how many women he can bag. He’s more than happy to get intimate with you just you.

You’ve met the important people in his life and vice versa. You’ve already had the proper introductions with his friends and family, but the truth is, they probably knew everything about you before you even met them. A guy who’s in relationship mode will want to share the one he adores with all the important people in his life.

Your cycle doesn’t freak him out. When it’s that time of the month, he doesn’t avoid you like you have the Bubonic plague. He also doesn’t pout because he knows he won’t be getting any for a week and he’s perfectly fine with just hanging out without sex being involved. Not only is he a keeper, but he sees you as more than just a casual fling.

He’s really obvious. He won’t play silly games that most people in the dating world swear by. He’ll tell you his feelings right off the bat, and he’ll never hold back on telling you how amazing you are and how beautiful you look. He doesn’t have time to beat around the bush.

The future’s on his mind. He’ll casually bring up future trips the two of you can take or ask you what your plans are far in advance. He’ll also talk about “adult topics,” such as buying a house and having kids. The main focus of these topics will always be you. He’ll want to hear your feedback and will also make sure you know that you’re a part of his future goals.

You’re the only one in the picture. There’s no ex-girlfriend lurking around the corner, his most recent booty call isn’t still hitting him up on Snapchat, and he cut off all his admirers that couldn’t take a hint when he told them he just wanted to be friends. He makes it clear to any other woman he comes in contact with that he’s not interested because he only has eyes for you.

It’s all in his actions. He’s not just blowing smoke up your ass and talking about all the things he wants to do for you. He’s actually turning his words into actions. The guy who sees you as more than a fling will be sweet and kind. He’ll surprise you with little gifts, take you out on impromptu dates, and he’ll always show you how much he cares. He doesn’t hesitate to do these things because in his eyes, you’re already his main squeeze.

Pretty much everyone assumes you’re a couple. We’ve already established that you’ve met the important people in each other’s lives, but if all of those people just assume you’re an official couple, that’s one of the biggest signs you’re his girlfriend and he’s your boyfriend and that’s al there is to it. Outsiders tend to see things with even more clarity than we do, so don’t underestimate the importance of their perception.

You’re each other’s automatic plus-one. When his cousin has a wedding, you’re obviously going with him. When your little cousin’s birthday party is coming up, you know he’ll be attending with you. You don’t even have to ask each other if you’re interested in doing these things — they’re happening and that’s that.

You bicker like an old married couple. By this, I don’t mean that you’re constantly at each other’s throats or that you constantly fight about big things. Instead, this is more about being comfortable with one another to get annoyed about little things and then let them go a few seconds later. It doesn’t even phase you when you get a bit snippy with each other because you both know you’re not going anywhere. It’s actually kind of sweet.

No signs that you’re his girlfriend — what now?

You’d love for things to get more serious but at the moment, you’re just not sure where he stands. What can you do to move things forward?

Be willing to delve deep. Casual hookups don’t typically delve below the surface, so if you start to have conversations with him about deeper things — your past, his past, life goals, etc. — then you’re likely to create at least the opportunity for a deeper emotional bond. Once that’s in place, it’s only a short journey towards a real relationship.

Position yourself as serious girlfriend material. What you want is to make him recognize the signs that you’re girlfriend material without outright giving him the benefits of that experience before he’s willing to commit. Offer him a small taste of what it would be like if you were an official couple by doing something special for him once in a while that only a girlfriend would do. Then, just as quickly as you started, stop. He’ll realize just how good he’d have it if you two were together.

Hang out with him without sleeping with him. If much of your relationship has been based in the bedroom, the best way to take things up a notch is by keeping your clothes on and not even going in there. When you get together, steer things away from sex and into more neutral territory where you can do regular old relationship stuff and he’ll be able to see that you want more.

Pull away a little. Guys love to chase what they think they can’t have, so while you don’t want to act totally aloof or pull away too much, being slightly unavailable is bound to make you more desirable in his eyes. Be busy sometimes when he wants to get together for a hookup and make him know he’ll need to earn your time. You might be surprised at how well this works.

Have a conversation with him about it. Communication really is key and if you’re brave enough perhaps the best way to move forward is by talking to him directly. Instead of waiting for him to notice the signs that you want to be his girlfriend, tell him that you want to be. He’ll respect your honesty and you’ll be able to find out where you stand once and for all.

If he’s not on the same page, cut the cord. If for some reason you’ve read things wrong and he doesn’t actually want a relationship with you, at least you’ll know. If that’s the case, there’s really only one option, and that’s to move on and never look back. It will suck, but you’ll get past it, I promise.



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