13 Things Toxic People Do That Straight Up Suck The Life Out Of You

Toxic people are everywhere and sometimes, they’re hard to spot. Instead of showing you their true selves, they might hide it behind charisma, humor, and what might appear to be genuine interest. Don’t be fooled—they’re still toxic. And even if you don’t realize it, they’re slowly but surely sucking the life straight out of you.

  1. They Rarely Show Up. Toxic people don’t usually have your back. They’re the exact opposite of a “ride or die.” They might show up for a party you’re having or a brunch reservation but if you needed them, really needed them, for something urgent, they probably wouldn’t show up—unless showing up would benefit them somehow.
  2. They Need Constant Attention. Some people like to be the center of attention, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but toxic people take it to another level completely. They’re the kind of people who’ll get jealous when a guy notices you instead of them, and then they’ll proceed to flirt with that guy just to prove to you (and probably themselves too) that they’re more attractive, funnier, and just all around better than you.
  3. They Talk Down To You. They don’t call you stupid (to your face) but they make you FEEL stupid. Toxic people are very sneaky. They use specific wording to bring you down without you even realizing the impact. They poke fun at your insecurities and they play with your emotions so that you’re left feeling like crap and thinking you got there all by yourself.
  4. They’re Manipulative. Toxic people only care about themselves and getting people to do what they want them to do, which means they’re very good manipulators. They know how to target an audience. They know what to say, what not to say, what to wear, and what not to wear, in order to attract that audience and get what they want from them.
  5. They’re Inconsistent. One day, they can be energetic and outgoing; the next, they’re walking around in a pissed off mood. Toxic people can change their personalities and attitudes at the drop of a hat. You’ll never know who they really are because they’re a bunch of people all in one.
  6. They Focus On Your Negatives. Toxic people don’t care when something good happens to you. They won’t congratulate you on your new job (and if they do, it’s disingenuous and usually short) but they come running when something bad happens to you. They can’t help themselves—your failures feed them.
  7. They Don’t Respect You. They don’t care about your beliefs or your opinions. In fact, they don’t even want to hear them unless they’re similar to their own. Toxic people think they’re right ALL THE TIME, so if you say something that doesn’t align with their “morals,” they’ll write you off right then and there.
  8. They Barely Listen. Toxic people LOVE the sound of their own voice. They’re narcissistic just as much as they are toxic, which means they really only care about themselves. They might act like they’re listening to you but they aren’t. Instead, they’re waiting for you to stop talking so they can jump in and bring the conversation back to them.
  9. They Think They’re Better Than You. A toxic person will never straight up say they think they’re better than you but you can easily tell it’s what they’re thinking. They’ll make comments about where you are in life and how maybe one day you’ll finally get to a place of comfort, like them. Toxic people love feeling like they’re superior. They’re bullies and ruining your self-esteem is their favorite hobby.
  10. They Aren’t Empathetic. Talking to a toxic person about your feelings is a complete waste of time. They’re unable to put themselves in your shoes to understand how you’re feeling and aren’t interested in doing so. Instead of letting you vent about what’s bothering you, they’ll make you feel weak for crying.
  11. They Never Apologize. Why would they? Nothing is ever their fault. Even if they caused the drama, they won’t see it that way. Toxic people are never to blame for anything because everything is someone else’s fault and someone else’s problem.
  12. They’re Very Judgmental. Listen to the way they talk about the barista who accidentally messed up their order or the waitress who took “too long” to refill their drink. Toxic people are rude and they can get angry very quickly. When that happens, they start throwing insults out like candy. If they can talk so much crap about strangers, what do you think they’re saying about you behind your back?
  13. They Don’t Make You A Better Person. Toxic people do more harm than good. Not only do they bring you down and mess with your self-esteem and self-worth but they might cause you to do the same to others. Toxic people are contagious and the more time you spend with them, the more likely you are to become one yourself.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.