10 Signs You’re Not Taking Enough Risks When It Comes To Dating

Finding true love is a gamble, and the risks are pretty damn high. Your heart is on the line and once you lose big, that loss can be enough to take you out of the game for good. A broken heart will always leave a scar, but you shouldn’t let the fear of heartbreak hold you back from love. This is how you know you’re taking it too far when it comes to being safe in love:

  1. You always second-guess your relationships. Is he the one? You don’t want to waste your time on a guy who isn’t the end game. You spend too much time wondering if he’s forever and not enough actually getting to know him. In the end, you never give any of your relationships a real chance because you’re too busy analyzing if it’s true love.
  2. You can’t accept when a guy likes you. Your girlfriends say he does — maybe even HE says he does — but you don’t want to let yourself believe it. He might like you now, but you’re already dreading the day he doesn’t. It’s a low self-esteem issue he can’t fix, but you can be sure that if you refuse to believe he likes you, he’ll stop believing too.
  3. You don’t give men real chances. Your love life is full of deal-breakers. If he can’t check off every box on your list, then you throw him back into the dating game without ever giving him a real chance. Sometimes you can find love in the most unexpected ways, places, or even people. Looking for Mr. Perfect is playing it safe, but finding Mr. Right is all about taking chances.
  4. You’re too afraid to make the first move. Rejection is the first step to heartbreak, and you don’t feel like going through even that minor pain again. You meet guys who spark your interest, but you’re too afraid to show it. When you act like you don’t care, he assumes you don’t care, and — surprise, surprise — you’ll spend every night going home alone.
  5. You don’t know how to forgive. Men are going to make mistakes. No one is perfect, so consider the fact that men are only human, and learn how to forgive. Sure, you have to draw the line at something (such as cheating), but some betrayals are bigger than others. So allow the men you date to make mistakes, and if they’re really sorry, they should be able to gain your forgiveness. That is, unless you’re playing it too safe.
  6. You wear your broken heart like armor. You never want to go through the pain of a broken heart again. So not only do you build up walls and refuse to be vulnerable, but you also remind every guy that you’ll never be “that girl” again. Broken hearts might suck, but you can’t let your past hold you back from the future. You’ll never find true love if you can’t learn how to let your armor down.
  7. You hesitate on every move he makes. You can’t decide to give him your number or if that first kiss meant anything at all. You’re too scared to accept his attention, let alone any real affection. He might take one step forward in the relationship, but you’re always ready to take two steps back. You won’t let yourself fall deeper, but if you keep swimming in the shallow end, you’ll still eventually drown.
  8. You talk yourself out of a relationship before it even starts. You’re afraid of the end before the relationship has even begun. He sees the excitement of every first, but you’re too preoccupied with the heartbreak of every last. You play out every relationship in your head, but you focus on love ending, not surviving. That negativity is eating you raw, and with that sourpuss attitude, you’ll never find love.
  9. You’re too afraid to want him. The truth is you’re too scared to love again. Falling in love might be magical, but falling out of it is so damn painful. You’ve been there, done that, and you might have survived, but just barely. Love almost took you out the first time, and you’re not going to give it a second chance, because you still haven’t figured out if it was all worth it.
  10. You run at the first sign of trouble. It’s almost as if you’re looking for reasons not to be with him. No relationship is smooth sailing 100 percent of the time. There will always be bumps in the road, but don’t let the little bumps derail you — it’s the big potholes that should set you off track. You might think that you’d rather be safe than sorry, but the real question is would you rather be alone than take a risk?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.